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These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Now a days, cell phones and internet are the better way of communication with other people. In my opinion, in today’s time telephones play a very essential role in individual’s life. People connect with their family and friends even they are living in a long-distance. For instance, people can chat, do video calls and audio calls as well. Likewise, in this way they share emotions and feelings in any corner of the world. Firstly, advantage of mobile phones is that people can use them in emergency. Furthermore, if anyone stuck, he or she can dial a number and ask for help. Although, if your relatives live a far away from you, then even people are able to see them by doing video calls. Hence, no one is away from you instead of few fingers away. Every coin has two sides, as many people are socially active and they share each and every thing on their social media platform. Sometimes, personal information become public and once does not able to realize the risk factor. Social media platforms are a very big issues especially they effect the life of youngsters. For illustrate, people make fake id’s and try to chat with you, after that they did only because to earn money. Moreover, if family goes for outing and update their information that where they go, it becomes risk for their life. Besides, anyone came to know their exact position where you are. In conclusion, the use of internet is good but on the other side, excess use is bad.
Now a days
, cell phones and internet are the better way of communication with other
people
. In my opinion, in
today
’s time telephones play a
very
essential role in individual’s life.
People
connect with their family and friends even they are living in
a long-distance
.
For instance
,
people
can chat, do video calls and audio calls
as well
.
Likewise
, in this way they share emotions and feelings in any corner of the world.

Firstly
, advantage of mobile phones is that
people
can
use
them in emergency.
Furthermore
, if anyone stuck, he or she can dial a number and
ask for
help
. Although, if your relatives
live
a far away from you, then even
people
are able to
see
them by doing video calls.
Hence
, no one is away from you
instead
of few fingers away.

Every coin has two sides, as
many
people
are
socially
active and
they share each and every thing on their social media platform.
Sometimes
, personal information become public and once does not able to realize the
risk
factor. Social media platforms are a
very
big
issues
especially
they effect the life of youngsters. For illustrate,
people
make
fake id’s and try to chat with you, after that they did
only
because
to earn money.
Moreover
, if family goes for outing and update their information that where they go, it becomes
risk
for their life.
Besides
, anyone came to know their exact position where you are.

In conclusion
, the
use
of internet is
good
but
on the other side, excess
use
is
bad
.
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Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay These days, mobile phones and internet are very important to the ways in which people related to each other socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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