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These days, as a consequence of a modern sociaty, more and more people know about the appearance of drugs. By the development of the internet, people can find their drug dealer easily through social network such as facebook, instagram, discord and so on.

These days, as a consequence of a modern sociaty, more and more people know about the appearance of drugs. By the development of the internet, people can find their drug dealer easily through social network such as facebook, instagram, discord and so on. xag99
These days, as a consequence of a modern sociaty, more and more people know about the appearance of drugs. By the development of the internet, people can find their drug dealer easily through social network such as facebook, instagram, discord and so on. Despite the fact that being addictve with drugs is extremely bad for our health, some of people still using drugs as a normal habit. In order to reduce this problem, many countries send anyone who caught using drug to the prison. At the end of the day, I disagree with that statement. First of all, drugs are not only extremely bad for our life but it also affect badly to our familiar’s life. For instance, if a addict is run out of money, they will do anything to have enough money to satisfy their addiction even though becoming a killer or a thief. So, they should be send to the detoxification center untill they become a normal person after that, they should be sent to prison for their crimes. But not all of the drug users are the bad guy, drug is also a mental medicine. For example, in some state of America, where cannabis is legal, the psychologists also ask their patient to use cannabis to reduce stress. Moreover, by receiving a lot of stress from work, some of people still use drug to help themselves from being autism. Personally, I think that they instead of sending them to prison, we can send them to the detoxification center because they are the victims, not the criminals. In conclusion, not all of the drug user should be automatically sentenced to time in prison. We should be understandful to know their problems and help them, not fining them.
These days, as a consequence of a modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. By the development of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealer
easily
through social network such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
, discord and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Despite the fact that being
Possible spelling mistake found.
addictve
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for our health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
as a normal habit. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
anyone who caught using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, I disagree with that statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "affects"?
affect
badly
to our familiar’s life.
For instance
, if
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
addict
is run
out of money, they will do anything to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to satisfy their addiction
even though
becoming a killer or a thief.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they should be
Consider using the past participle "sent"?
send
to the detoxification center
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
they become a normal person after that, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for their crimes.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
is
also
a mental medicine.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
state of America, where cannabis is legal, the psychologists
also
ask their patient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cannabis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, by receiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves from being autism.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
instead
of sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to the detoxification center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the victims, not the criminals.

In conclusion
, not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
user should be
automatically
sentenced to time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. We should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
understandful
to know their problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them, not fining them.
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IELTS essay These days, as a consequence of a modern sociaty, more and more people know about the appearance of drugs. By the development of the internet, people can find their drug dealer easily through social network such as facebook, instagram, discord and so on.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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