Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

how fashion kills us, advantades and disadvantages of fashion industry

how fashion kills us, advantades and disadvantages of fashion industry RwyXP
Due to the social vertical blurring more and more people are gaining the opportunity to choose what they’re wearing. But even today, despite having that will, they still try to look the way that those who present these clothes do. This forces them to follow that ideal image, instead of expressing their true selves. We believe that even though fashion is a form of art, that focuses on projecting artists ideas, this sphere has a negative impact, which may be seen in cases of mental dysfunctions that shorten humans’ lifespan. It’s obvious that an increase in the number of mental illnesses has never been the goal of fashion. The problem, represented in the introduction occurred as a consequence of certain fashion industry needs, which are mainly certain physical parameters of people, who represent clothes. Moreover, psychological problems always consist of a complex of reasons, such as different traumas, social disadvantages, and high proportion of stress, received daily etc. In simpler terms, if person has mental dysfunctions, there are complex reasons behind it, and fashion may not even be among them. However, I personally believe that the lack of representatives of certain social and ethnical groups, members of which have the appearance which are different from the appearance of an average model, makes people think that they have no other ways to be happy, but trying to be like ones, that represent their favorite clothes. It makes people go against their nature, which is already unhealthy and destructive. More than that, the standards of beaty set by fashion often result in bullying and condemnation of those, who don’t match. Consequences of those kind may not cause mental illnesses of those, who are offended, but may also result in much more tragic events, such as suicides or acts of terrorism. In conclusion, the fashion industry, whether desirable or not, sets the standards of beaty, which lack variety. This sometimes may lead to adverse events, which may result in cases of mental dysfunctions and their consequences that make humans’ life shorter.
Due to the social vertical blurring more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gaining the opportunity to choose what they’re wearing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, despite having that will, they
still
try to look the way that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
present these clothes do. This forces them to follow that ideal image,
instead
of expressing their true selves. We believe that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is a form of art, that focuses on projecting artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, this sphere has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, which may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
dysfunctions that shorten humans’ lifespan.

It’s obvious that an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illnesses has never been the goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
. The problem, represented in the introduction occurred as a consequence of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry needs, which are
mainly
certain physical parameters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
represent clothes.
Moreover
, psychological problems always consist of a complex of reasons, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traumas, social disadvantages, and high proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, received daily etc. In simpler terms, if person has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
dysfunctions, there are complex reasons behind it, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
may not even be among them.

However
, I
personally
believe that the lack of representatives of certain social and ethnical groups, members of which have the appearance which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the appearance of an average model,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they have no other ways to be happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
trying to be like ones, that represent their favorite clothes. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go against their nature, which is already unhealthy and destructive. More than that, the standards of
Possible spelling mistake found.
beaty
set by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
result in bullying and condemnation of those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t match. Consequences of those kind may not cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illnesses of those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are offended
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may
also
result in much more tragic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, such as suicides or acts of terrorism.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry, whether desirable or not, sets the standards of
Possible spelling mistake found.
beaty
, which lack variety. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may lead to adverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, which may result in cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
dysfunctions and their consequences that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
humans’ life shorter.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay how fashion kills us, advantades and disadvantages of fashion industry

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • how fashion kills us, advantades and disadvantages of fashion industry