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Nowadays, the number of students who decide to pursue higher education abroad is escalating exponentially mostly in developed countries.

Nowadays, the number of students who decide to pursue higher education abroad is escalating exponentially mostly in developed countries. w7a93
Nowadays, the number of students who decide to pursue higher education abroad is escalating exponentially mostly in developed countries. As a result, many nations are seen to be at a disadvantage as home country’s adolescents tend to settle down where they study overseas. The benefits of studying abroad are undeniable but it still seems to do more harm than good. First of all, the main issue here is known as brain drain. Inadvertently or intentionally, young minds in developing nations are steadily flocking to innovative education systems where they have room to express themselves. Countries like America, England, and Australia attract a large number of international students who want to study overseas and live there annually. For example, most of the champions of a Vietnamese program called Road to Mount Olympia which is a platform for comprehensive high school pupils to perform their knowledge, are currently studying and working in Australia instead of their home country. Consequently, they are helping developed countries keep growing and not bringing any profits or benefits to where they were born. Furthermore, the poorer countries are believed to be failed when students are attracted to new things and leave their countries with old problems, unable to progress. The problem of staying and dedicating to foreign countries is about students, but receiving students' brains is a domestic issue. As a result, failure at this stage means that we have closed the door of ideas and the progressive knowledge they brought back. In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with each person’s point of view. Students hope to have a better environment to enhance and improve their talents, and the government hopes that these citizens can acquire more knowledge overseas to help develop the domestic situation. However, both of those aspects are unintentionally rendered unbeneficial when those pupils choose to live there rather than return to their homeland.
Nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who decide to pursue higher education abroad is escalating
exponentially
mostly
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be at a disadvantage as home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
adolescents tend to settle down where they study overseas. The benefits of studying abroad are undeniable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
still
seems to do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main issue here
is known
as brain drain.
Inadvertently
or
intentionally
, young minds in developing nations are
steadily
flocking to innovative education systems where they have room to express themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
like America, England, and Australia attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to study overseas and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there
annually
.
For example
, most of the champions of a Vietnamese program called Road to Mount Olympia which is a platform for comprehensive high school pupils to perform their knowledge, are
currently
studying and working in Australia
instead
of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Consequently
, they are helping developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
growing and not bringing any profits or benefits to where they
were born
.

Furthermore
, the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are believed
to
be failed
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are attracted
to new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
problems, unable to progress. The problem of staying and dedicating to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
receiving students' brains is a domestic issue.
As a result
, failure at this stage means that we have closed the door of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and the progressive knowledge they brought back.

In conclusion
, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with each person’s point of view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
hope to have a better environment to enhance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their talents, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hopes that these citizens can acquire more knowledge overseas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop the domestic situation.
However
, both of those aspects are
unintentionally
rendered
Possible spelling mistake found.
unbeneficial
when those pupils choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there
rather
than return to their homeland.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the number of students who decide to pursue higher education abroad is escalating exponentially mostly in developed countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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