Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it a positive or negative development?

These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it a positive or negative development? 78r6
There has been a sharp increase in the number of children playing games on computers instead of outdoor activities. This essay will discuss about the ill-effects this addiction is causing in young children. We are living in a digital era and inclination towards computers is inevitable. The games developed have flashy graphics and media, which are hard to overlook. So much is the addiction to the games that kids are glued to them for long hours. As a result, this shift has caused obesity amongst young children. obesity in turn acts as a catalyst to other health problems like diabetes and high blood pressure. By-passing outdoor activities for computer games not only causes physical implications but also poses a threat to the mental and social development of the young minds. Playing games with other children teaches them how to adjust with others as well as be more open to their views. It also teaches the kids life tricks as to how to be tactful as well as playful. Computer games do not teach children these concepts of life. They leave a void in their childhood with this. Many computer games have immense action in them which has made violence as an acceptable norm in their minds. Personally, I perceive, that living in digital time computer games and media are hard to part ways with. however, to use them with moderation is what we can encourage amongst children otherwise like excess of anything is bad, this too will have its impact in a negative way on their development.
There has been a sharp increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computers
instead
of outdoor activities. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
ill-effects this addiction is causing in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. We are living in a digital era and inclination towards computers is inevitable. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
developed have flashy graphics and media, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to overlook.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
much is the addiction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that kids
are glued
to them for long hours.
As a result
, this shift has caused obesity amongst young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obesity
in turn acts as a catalyst to other health problems like diabetes and high blood pressure. By-passing outdoor activities for computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
causes physical implications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
poses a threat to the mental and social development of the young minds. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
teaches them how to adjust with others
as well
as be more open to their views. It
also
teaches the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "kids'" or "kid's"?
kids
life tricks as to how to be tactful
as well
as playful. Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these concepts of life. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a void in their childhood with this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have immense action in them which has made violence as an acceptable norm in their minds.
Personally
, I perceive, that living in digital time computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and media are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to part ways with.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them with moderation is what we can encourage amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
otherwise
like excess of anything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, this too will have its impact in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way on their development.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it a positive or negative development?