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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? rq1l
The way people interact with each other has been changed a lot in a recent time. The availability of various social media platforms such as Facebook, Tinder, Twitter, and Tumbler made world a relatively small place. In general people from various region, religious and origins now interact more frequently than in past. However, this essay argue that this has more cons than pros because most of the time people create fake profile and lie about themselves and people value less the real people around them. Unlike, the late 19th century where people have limited way of interaction, we have various options available to interact with people of different age, sex, origin, and the religious belief. The availability of Facebook, WhatsApp, Tinder has largely affected the way people interact with each other these days. People share the nice photographs and inspiring quotes to get more attention and making more friends online. However, very often the image that they generate, and the reality do not match, and this led to serious problem. A story on the CBC News was an eye opening, where a girl from Sudan travelled all the way to Canada to meet her boyfriend whom she met through Facebook only to found that the guy was already married. The other problem associated with the recent development in the way people communicate is that people spend more hours on their mobile phones and laptops talking or doing video chat to the person who is staying somewhere very far from his/her country, while neglecting the family members staying with them. This cause relations to be more superficial and loss of warmth and care. The suicide of Bollywood actor Sushant Singh is a true example, he had lots of friend and followers. However, when he might have needed a listening buddy or a shoulder to relieve his pain, he could not find one. In conclusion, the advancement in communication devices and technologies has make it possible to interact with lots of people. However, the lies and fake personality people make about themselves is harmful to other and spending more time on these type of communication platforms lead to weaken the existing real relations.
The way
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people
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interact
with each
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other
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot in a recent time. The availability of various social media platforms such as Facebook, Tinder, Twitter, and Tumbler made world a
relatively
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small
place.
In general
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people
from various region, religious and origins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
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interact
more
frequently
than
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in past
.
However
,
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this essay argue
that this has more cons than pros
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because
most of the time
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people
create fake profile and lie about themselves and
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people
value less the real
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people
around them.

Unlike, the late 19th century where
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people
have limited way of interaction, we have various options available to
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interact
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age, sex, origin, and the religious belief. The availability of Facebook, WhatsApp, Tinder has
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
share the nice photographs and inspiring quotes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more attention and making more friends online.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the image that they generate, and the reality do not match, and this led to serious problem. A story on the CBC News was an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eye opening
, where a girl from Sudan travelled all the way to Canada to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
her boyfriend whom she met through Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to found that the guy was already married.

The
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other
problem associated with the recent development in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more hours on their mobile phones and laptops talking or doing video chat to the person who is staying somewhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from his/her country, while neglecting the family members staying with them. This cause relations to be more superficial and loss of warmth and care. The suicide of Bollywood actor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushant
Singh is a true example, he had
Possible agreement error. The noun friend seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of friends".
lots of friend
and followers.
However
, when he might have needed a listening buddy or a shoulder to relieve his pain, he could not find one.

In conclusion
, the advancement in communication devices and technologies has
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make
it possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
with lots of
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people
.
However
, the lies and fake personality
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
about themselves is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and spending more time on these type of communication platforms lead to weaken the existing real relations.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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