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There seems to increasing number of serious crime commited every year while some think death penality as a detterent many believe other measure must be needed.

There seems to increasing number of serious crime commited every year while some think death penality as a detterent many believe other measure must be needed. OMXrd
In modern Era, fraction of crime rate is increasing at high rate. Some masses contemplate that the best method is to give death punishment as a detterent, while other imagine that there are many other method to solve this. Here, this essay intends to discuss both view and conclude to a relevant conclusion. To commence with, death penality is necessary to reduce crime rate so that other criminal become scared of punishment. To specify this, there are some big crime such as rape, murder in which individual must given capital punishment so that nobody try to do such crime again. To be exemplified, a survey was conducted that in Saudi Arabia crime rate is negligible because they have very strict rules and give death penality to every criminal. Thus, death penality is necessary for serious crimes. On the other hand, there are many other measure to solve the problem such as life time prisionment, heavy fines. To elaborate this, punishment must depend on the type of crime. Some individual may obey traffic rules so they must charge heavy fines instead of giving capital punishment. For instances, one lady steal bread packet because they donot have money to purchase it and on other side one individuals have done some serious crime so no one has right to give equal punishment to both of them. Hence, criminal must given punishment according to their crime. To conclude, although capital punishment is good way to reduce crime, yet I believe that individual must punished by watching their crime.
In modern Era, fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
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rate
is increasing at high
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rate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses contemplate that the best method is to give death
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punishment
as a
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detterent
, while
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other
imagine that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
method to solve this. Here, this essay intends to discuss both view and conclude to a relevant conclusion. To commence with, death
Possible spelling mistake found.
penality
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
criminal become scared of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. To specify this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as rape, murder in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have given" or "give"?
given
capital
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punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nobody try to do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
be exemplified
, a survey
was conducted
that in Saudi Arabia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is negligible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and give death
Possible spelling mistake found.
penality
to every criminal.
Thus
, death
Possible spelling mistake found.
penality
is necessary for serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measure to solve the problem such as
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
Possible spelling mistake found.
prisionment
, heavy fines. To elaborate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
depend on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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individual
may obey traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
charge heavy fines
instead
of giving capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. For instances, one lady steal bread packet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it and on
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other
side one
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individuals
have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
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crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one has right to give equal
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punishment
to both of them.
Hence
, criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have given" or "give"?
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
To conclude
, although capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
yet
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
punished by watching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
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I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay There seems to increasing number of serious crime commited every year while some think death penality as a detterent many believe other measure must be needed.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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