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why should children learn other countries' history?

why should children learn other countries' history? MmDqL
The ability to learn from history is an essential part of a learning process in children to create a bigger purpose on reshaping the present and preparing a better future, and not to exclude understanding the past learnings from other countries. Taking examples from other countries’ history might trigger children in developing vast knowledge of community development, broadening their perception, and stimulating their understanding of key learnings of the past. Furthermore, a study in other countries' olden days will push students to foster reading habits, build future career aspirations, and in fact, for some, will act as entertainment and stress-relieving activity. Through this, children will have better empathy and better personal development through an enjoyable and fruitful learning process.
The ability to learn from history is an essential part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process in children to create a bigger purpose on reshaping the present and preparing a better future, and not to exclude understanding the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
from other countries. Taking examples from other countries’ history might trigger children in developing vast knowledge of community development, broadening their perception, and stimulating their understanding of key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
of the past.
Furthermore
, a study in other countries' olden days will push students to foster reading habits, build future career aspirations, and in fact, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, will act as entertainment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-relieving activity. Through this, children will have better empathy and better personal development through an enjoyable and fruitful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.

IELTS essay why should children learn other countries' history?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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