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music plays a vital role in our society how much has music influence the way we think today

music plays a vital role in our society how much has music influence the way we think today joO9L
song play a crucial part in our societies as everyone utilise the music for their enjoyment in current time personally I believe that it's quite fruitful for mankind's while I will explain some detrimental effects from music in upcoming paragraphs. firstly they are serveral reasons why songs are appropriate for our life's. this is simply because individuals will cinch relaxed their mind in order to to minimise their workload as well as even anxieties to listen songs furthermore they would be prefer to listen music at workshops as they will properly concentration while music would be play because it is not only beneficial for entertainment but also better for Full focus on jobs to examplify this 1 survey conducted by Harvard University that music is a part of humans life because they think that 65% of music impression on our society and people are able develop their confidence level from music. hence it is the best for society as a result of some people do not beginning their work until they do not listen their favourite songs. however I suppose that not all song s suitable for our society as some songs are quite dangerous for youngstars due to with they will be select wrong path to listen weapons and fight songs since they can easily learn how to use guns with the help of videos which is neither better for their future life nor for their parents for example crime report found that in Denmark 45% of individuals who did crime in their City just because of listened wrong songs therefore unsuitable songs are not best for our families and it is a just wastage of time to spend on it. in conclusion although i imagine that songs are good for mind clam as well as work places and it is a totally negative impact on our society to listen wrong songs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
song
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
a crucial part in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
as everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "utilises", "utilised".
utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for their enjoyment in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time
personally
I believe that it's quite fruitful for mankind's while I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in upcoming paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
serveral
reasons why songs are appropriate for our life's.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals will cinch relaxed their mind in order
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
their workload
as well
as even anxieties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
songs
furthermore
they would be
Consider using the past participle "preferred"?
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at workshops as they will
properly
concentration while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
would be play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
better for Full focus on jobs to
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
this 1 survey conducted by Harvard University that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a part of humans life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
impression on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'develop'.
able develop
their confidence level from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
it is the best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "begin"?
beginning
their work until they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
songs.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
I suppose that not all song s suitable for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngstars
due to with they will be select
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
weapons and fight songs since they can
easily
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
guns with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of videos which is neither better for their future life nor for their parents
for example
crime report found that in Denmark 45% of individuals who did crime in their City
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of listened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
songs
therefore
unsuitable songs are not best for our families and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wastage of time to spend on it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion although
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
imagine that songs are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mind clam
as well
as work places and it is a
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
songs.
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IELTS essay music plays a vital role in our society how much has music influence the way we think today

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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