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There Seems To Be An Increase In The Number Of Serious Crimes Being Committed Each Other

There Seems To Be An Increase In The Number Of Serious Crimes Being Committed Each Other 3Yy3l
here is a massive / significant increase in the number of serious crimes these days. Although some people believe that death penalty is the most effective way to deter horrendous crimes, others argue that other measures will be required. In my opinion, death penalty is a deterrent only when it is certain. In countries like India where capital punishment is awarded only in the rarest of the rare cases, death penalty has not been particularly effective at preventing heinous crimes. Death penalty does not always deter criminals. For example, in India death penalty is awarded only in extreme cases. When someone commits a murder, they do not expect to get the death sentence. In the vast majority of cases, they do not get it either. Hence, there is no real decrease in the number of crimes. This is not the situation in countries like Saudi Arabia where you can get sure death even for minor offences. For death penalty to be effective, it must be certain. When people know beforehand that they will get death for committing certain crimes, they will think twice or thrice before executing the criminal act. In such situations death penalty is certainly effective at curbing crime. However, there are several humanitarian and moral concerns regarding capital punishment. For one thing, it is immoral. No one, not even the government, has the right to take another life. Other forms of punishment like prolonged imprisonment, in my opinion, are more effective at preventing serious crimes. No one wants to live in captivity. If the law has provisions to keep a murderer, terrorist or rapist behind bars for life, we will definitely witness a drop in the number of serious crimes being committed. In many countries now life imprisonment lasts only 7 or 10 years and then convicts can walk free. This has to change. Those who commit serious offences like pre-meditated murder should be confined to the prison for the rest of their life. This will not only make the society safer but also discourage serious crimes to a great extent. In conclusion, death penalty will be effective at reducing crimes if everyone who commits a serious offence gets it. Unfortunately, this is barbaric. In my opinion, it is better to keep serious offenders in prison for considerably long periods than executing them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
here
is a massive / significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
these days. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way to deter horrendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, others argue that other measures will
be required
. In my opinion, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is a deterrent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when it is certain. In countries like India where capital punishment
is awarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in the rarest of the rare cases, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
has not been
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
at preventing heinous crimes.

Death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
does not always deter criminals.
For example
, in India death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is awarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in extreme cases. When someone commits a murder, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the death sentence. In the vast majority of cases, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it either.
Hence
, there is no real decrease in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This is not the situation in countries like Saudi Arabia where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sure death even for minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. For death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be certain. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know beforehand that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
death for committing certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice or thrice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
executing the criminal act. In such
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "situations'" or "situation's"?
situations
death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
at curbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, there are several humanitarian and moral concerns regarding capital punishment. For one thing, it is immoral. No one, not even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, has the right to take another life.

Other forms of punishment like prolonged imprisonment, in my opinion, are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
at preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. No one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in captivity. If the law has provisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a murderer, terrorist or rapist behind bars for life, we will definitely witness a drop in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
being committed
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
life imprisonment lasts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
7 or 10 years and then convicts can walk free. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Those who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-meditated
murder should
be confined
to the prison for the rest of their life. This will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the society safer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to a great extent.

In conclusion
, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
at reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
if everyone who commits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
it. Unfortunately, this is barbaric. In my opinion, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
offenders in prison for
considerably
long periods than executing them.
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IELTS essay There Seems To Be An Increase In The Number Of Serious Crimes Being Committed Each Other

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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