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There is something deeply wrong with a world where a few people can have more money than they could ever spend, while others cannot afford to feed themselves or their children. We must create a system where billionaires cannot exist and that money is used to lift the world’s poorest people out of poverty and give them a future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is something deeply wrong with a world where a few people can have more money than they could ever spend, while others cannot afford to feed themselves or their children. We must create a system where billionaires cannot exist and that money is used to lift the world’s poorest people out of poverty and give them a future. jbwb8
These days, it is clear to see that some people have access to far more funds than they can ever spend, while others are unable to feed themselves or their families due to a lack of resources. Personally, I believe that billionaires are possible to come by, and I therefore disagree with the statement that they donate all their money to help the poor out of poverty. On the one hand, everyone must study, work hard, and expand their knowledge, which is why taking all of a billionaire’s possessions to aid the poor is unjust. In some cases, there were some people that were due to inherit their fortunes from the family, but they had to be eminently qualified to maintain their properties. It also implies that people must work independently in order to succeed. Economic inequality also supports global growth, implying that more equality strengthens communities and economies. For example, people are motivated to work hard in order to earn more money because of income disparity. On the other hand, the impoverished frequently receive unrestricted assistance and free goods, putting them at risk of becoming financially reliant on the financial source. In particular, the terrible problem of employing children to beg is becoming more and more frequent owing to the ease with which one may profit from other people's sympathies. Bad individuals take advantage of kindness so frequently that our confidence in the good things in life is eroding. In conclusion, impoverished people require assistance as well, but it must be limited to offers and a thorough grasp of their wants and requirements as supporting a deserving student in receiving a scholarship and assisting them in finding work so that they may support themselves.
These days, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to far more funds than they can ever spend, while others are unable to feed themselves or their families due to a lack of resources.
Personally
, I believe that billionaires are possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by, and I
therefore
disagree with the statement that they donate all their money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor out of poverty.

On the one hand, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, and expand their knowledge, which is why taking all of a billionaire’s possessions to aid the poor is unjust. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that were due to inherit their fortunes from the family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they had to be
eminently
qualified to maintain their properties. It
also
implies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
in order to succeed. Economic inequality
also
supports global growth, implying that more equality strengthens communities and economies.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to earn more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of income disparity.

On the other hand
, the impoverished
frequently
receive unrestricted assistance and free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, putting them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of becoming
financially
reliant on the financial source.
In particular
, the terrible problem of employing children to beg is becoming more and more frequent owing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
with which one may profit from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's sympathies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bad
individuals take advantage of kindness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
frequently
that our confidence in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things in life is eroding.

In conclusion
, impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
require assistance
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be limited
to offers and a thorough grasp of their wants and requirements as supporting a deserving student in receiving a scholarship and assisting them in finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may support themselves.
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IELTS essay There is something deeply wrong with a world where a few people can have more money than they could ever spend, while others cannot afford to feed themselves or their children. We must create a system where billionaires cannot exist and that money is used to lift the world’s poorest people out of poverty and give them a future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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