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Television is the most popular form of entertainment in many households. People of all ages use this media to entertain themselves for many hours a day. Thus, TV has had a tremendous influence on its viewers, especially children. However, some people worry that children can be negatively affected by constantly watching television. (Agree / Disagree)

Television is the most popular form of entertainment in many households. People of all ages use this media to entertain themselves for many hours a day. Thus, TV has had a tremendous influence on its viewers, especially children. However, some people worry that children can be negatively affected by constantly watching television. (Agree / Disagree) VYVyQ
Over the past few years, some people argue that watching televison adverse impact on people especially children. To a certain extent, I agree this point of view, but I believe that watching televison also brings many advantages for children as we how to use it properly To be begin with, it is true that watching TV can bring a harmful effect on children. Firstly, It is easily addictive and children spend all the time thinking about films on the TV resulting in reduced concentration of children lead to a decline in learning. Secondly, there are many types of violent online films not suitable for children which is a main cause innfluence on children’s personality. On the other hand, I personally believe that television has an essential role to play in the development of children. Watching educational TV programmes gives children the opportunity to widen their horizons and enrich their knowledge of the world they live in. For instance, planet Earth and Discovery Channel. In addition, some TV shows supply children with an almost endless amount of information about practically any element of life. In conclusion, although some people say that Constant television viewing might have a harmful impact on children. But I believe we know how to entertain in a smart way, it will bring us a lot of wonderful things
Over the past few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
televison
adverse impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
televison
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as we how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
properly


To be
Consider using a past participle here: "begun".
begin
with, it is true that watching TV can bring a harmful effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, It is
easily
addictive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend all the time thinking about films on the TV resulting in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
concentration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lead to a decline in learning.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of violent online films not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which is a main cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
innfluence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality.

On the other hand
, I
personally
believe that television has an essential role to play in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Watching educational TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the opportunity to widen their horizons and enrich their knowledge of the world they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For instance
, planet Earth and Discovery Channel.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with an almost endless amount of information about
practically
any element of life.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that Constant television viewing might have a harmful impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe we know how to entertain
Consider replacing "in a smart way" with the adverb for "smart"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a smart way
, it will bring us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wonderful
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
things
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IELTS essay Television is the most popular form of entertainment in many households. People of all ages use this media to entertain themselves for many hours a day. Thus, TV has had a tremendous influence on its viewers, especially children. However, some people worry that children can be negatively affected by constantly watching television. (Agree / Disagree)

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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