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There is no shortage of debate about successful people try new things and take risk rather than only doing what they know how to do well.

There is no shortage of debate about successful people try new things and take risk rather than only doing what they know how to do well. 7gXb
There is no shortage of debate about successful people try new things and take risk rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Personally, believe that successful people should try new things. First, trying new things is caused creativity. That is, you should invent something. Because nobody before you didn't have any idea about that and you will become the pioneer in that field. For example, Thomas Edison didn't act like the others and did weird works. Even he was expelled from school. However, he did various experiments at home. So, he invented electric light and human's life was changed after his invention. Before that, people had to do their daily works during the day. And who wanted to study at night, had to use the candles. Secondly, taking risks can help people leave their comfort-zones. People who live in their comfort-zones may feel comfortable and relaxing, and unwilling to leave the familiar situations. Therefore, people may get stuck in their own little world, knowing nothing about the outside place. From my own experience, I changed my major to biomaterial and I chose a risky thesis that needed hard experimental activities and knowledge of biology. However, in the first year, I trained very well. Also, I spent a lot of time studying biology. In the end, I finished my project very well and learned a lot. So, it was beneficial for me to took risks and I believe in myself. In conclusion, I strongly believed that prospering people test novel things. That is because it makes people creative and leave their comfort zones.
There is no shortage of debate about successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try new things and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doing what they know how to do well.
Personally
, believe that successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try new things.

First
, trying new things
is caused
creativity.
That is
, you should invent something.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nobody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you didn't have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about that and you will become the pioneer in that field.
For example
, Thomas Edison didn't act like the others and did weird works. Even he
was expelled
from school.
However
, he did various experiments at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he invented electric light and human's life was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
after his invention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to do their daily works during the day. And who wanted to study at night, had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the candles.

Secondly
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their comfort-zones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their comfort-zones may feel comfortable and relaxing, and unwilling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the familiar situations.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
world, knowing nothing about the outside place. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my major to biomaterial and I chose a risky thesis that needed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
experimental activities and knowledge of biology.
However
, in the
first
year, I trained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Also
, I spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time studying biology. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I finished my project
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well and learned a lot.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it was beneficial for me to took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and I believe in myself.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believed that prospering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
novel things.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
creative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their comfort zones.
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IELTS essay There is no shortage of debate about successful people try new things and take risk rather than only doing what they know how to do well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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