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There is no doubt that the improvement of society comes along with innovations. Those inventions have led human life to a different state and continued to do their functions.

There is no doubt that the improvement of society comes along with innovations. Those inventions have led human life to a different state and continued to do their functions. 9BYXX
There is no doubt that the improvement of society comes along with innovations. Those inventions have led human life to a different state and continued to do their functions. And I believe that movie and television, which play a role in people’s behavior, is not only for entertainment. On the one hand, movies and films are beneficial for the human brain. It helps release stress and changes people’s ways of thinking. For instance, a person who suffers from mental health can accept the difficulties and overcome their issues by watching psychological movies. Or kids watching educational films tend to have good manners. However, inappropriate content can lead to wrongdoing. Movies containing violent scenes make viewers insensitive to illegal action. The plot of school bullying or domestic abuse can occur in reality, which causes severe social problems. As a result, movies and films provide a broader vision of the world, and individuals change their attitudes based on that. On the other hand, to bring convenience in enjoying movies and films, Televisions were invented. It provides information and is a form of recreation. Therefore, people’s behavior can positively change when they feel relaxed. Nevertheless, gluing eyes on the screen for a long time causes many problems. Overusing the television to escape reality leads to a significant change in attitudes. There is a likelihood that family members who watch too much TV are usually feel lost and short-tempered. They become lazier, avoid communicating with people, and can be worsened when the obsession with watching television affects their daily routines. However, television is undoubtedly essential for human life. In conclusion, movies and television bring both advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, people have to use it appropriately and restrain the harmful effects.
There is no doubt that the improvement of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along with innovations. Those inventions have led human life to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
state and continued to do their functions. And I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, which play a role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
behavior, is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and films are beneficial for the human brain. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
ways of thinking.
For instance
, a person who suffers from mental health can accept the difficulties and overcome their issues by watching psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Or kids watching educational films tend to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners.
However
, inappropriate content can lead to wrongdoing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
containing violent scenes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
viewers insensitive to illegal action. The plot of school bullying or domestic abuse can occur in reality, which causes severe social problems.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and films provide a broader vision of the world, and individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their attitudes based on that.

On the other hand
, to bring convenience in enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and films,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Televisions
were invented
. It provides information and is a form of recreation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
behavior can
positively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
when they feel relaxed.
Nevertheless
, gluing eyes on the screen for a long time causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. Overusing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to escape reality leads to a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in attitudes. There is a likelihood that family members who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
too much TV are
usually
feel lost and short-tempered. They become lazier, avoid communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and can
be worsened
when the obsession with watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
affects their daily routines.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
undoubtedly
essential for human life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
bring both advantages and disadvantages.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
appropriately
and restrain the harmful effects.
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IELTS essay There is no doubt that the improvement of society comes along with innovations. Those inventions have led human life to a different state and continued to do their functions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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