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There is lot of noise in public places, what are the causes and some solutios

There is lot of noise in public places, what are the causes and some solutios VwmNw
Crowded places always cause problems as there are more people then the required. Public places like parks, markets and hospital are over populated which create problems. In this menue script the problems and some of the solutions would be discussed. Firstly, the main cause is over population as some time people are more than the required number. Furthermore, people go to markets just to pass their time or to release their stress. When there are more people then the requirement create problem. For instance, last week there was a puppet show in my hometown, although they planned every thing very well nevertheless when people stared coming, they started pulling and pushing each other. The show was ruined. Secondly, people do not have the awareness how to behave in some places and situations. Besides they have no ethical values. In schools children should be taught the ethical values also because these vales make a society dominating and strong. Government should arrange some counciling programs so that people should know how to behave in certain situations. To recapitulate, I would like to addy opinion that it is a worth saying " education is not to know how to read and write but it is a style how you behave". Therefore, masses should be educate, government should provide assestance to the people to teach them the moral values.
Crowded places always cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "than"?
then
the required. Public places like parks, markets and hospital are over populated which create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
menue
script the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions would
be discussed
.

Firstly
, the main cause is over population as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more than the required number.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to markets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to pass their time or to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "than"?
then
the requirement create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For instance
, last week there was a puppet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in my hometown, although they planned every thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
nevertheless
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stared coming, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
pulling and pushing each other. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
was ruined
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have the awareness how to behave in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places and situations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
they have no ethical values. In schools children should
be taught
the ethical values
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these vales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a society dominating and strong.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
counciling
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know how to behave in certain situations.

To recapitulate, I would like to
Possible spelling mistake found.
addy
opinion that it is a worth saying
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
education is not to know how to read and write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a style how you behave
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Therefore
, masses should be
Consider using the past participle "educated"?
educate
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
assestance
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to teach them the moral values.
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IELTS essay There is lot of noise in public places, what are the causes and some solutios

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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