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There is an argument that women should work in force.Others think that they can work other area. Write both views and your opinion

There is an argument that women should work in force. Others think that they can work other area. Write both views and your opinion jR8nN
There is no doubt that nowadays gender equality is highly maintained in the all walks of the life. However, people have different opinion, whether the women should be included in the jobs like armed force, I personally, believe that they should be given an equal opportunity to work in this field as well. Firstly, the obvious reason to why I consider this is a great step in the modern world is that, currently, technical skills and leader ship are two essential qualities requiring to control others, not the brutal muscle power. In other words, taking proper a crucial decision at the right in the military is extremely significant rather than physically control the situation. Therefore, the staff would possess in depth knowledge of working of various machineries and know how to motivate their military men to act effectively. For instance, to restrict illegal movement of the intruders can be prevented, particularly, in the border by implementing surveillance cameras. Nevertheless, opponents of the above argument point out that working in a force can be a challenging for many girls. This is because a certain task demands a high level of physical strength, which may not be attained by women. Eventually, they become non combatant to the armed force. For example, living and fighting during an extreme harsh climate, such as winter and summer, would not be tolerated by the most of members of this group. Hence this is can bring an imbalance in the job sector, some experts believe they should be kept away from such fields. In conclusion, even though many feminists advocate that they women need to be allowed to work in the military service, others oppose since this requires a lot of physical strength.
There is no doubt that nowadays gender equality is
highly
maintained in the all walks of the life.
However
,
people
have
different
opinion, whether the women should
be included
in the jobs like armed force, I
personally
, believe that they should be
given
an equal opportunity to work in this field
as well
.

Firstly
, the obvious reason to why I consider this is a great step in the modern world is that,
currently
, technical
skills
and leader ship are two essential qualities requiring
to control
others, not the brutal muscle power.
In other words
, taking proper a crucial decision at the right in the military is
extremely
significant
rather
than
physically
control the situation.
Therefore
, the staff would possess in depth knowledge of working of various
machineries
and know how to motivate their military
men
to act
effectively
.
For instance
, to restrict illegal movement of the intruders can be
prevented
,
particularly
, in the border by implementing surveillance cameras.

Nevertheless
, opponents of the above argument point out that working in a force can be a challenging for
many
girls. This is
because
a certain task demands a high level of physical strength, which may not
be attained
by women.
Eventually
, they become
non combatant
to the armed force.
For example
, living and fighting during an extreme harsh climate, such as winter and summer, would not
be tolerated
by the
most of members
of this group.
Hence
this is can bring an imbalance in the job sector,
some
experts believe they should be
kept
away from such fields.

In conclusion
,
even though
many
feminists advocate that
they women
need to be
allowed
to work in the military service, others oppose since this requires
a lot of
physical strength.
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IELTS essay There is an argument that women should work in force. Others think that they can work other area. Write both views and your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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