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There is a tendency in our world art and music regarded as the basic part of our society. In my opinion, art and music still play a vital role in our contemporary life however although it helps all kinds of person's emotions positively, students do not allocate time for it as it is considered just a waste of time which the valuable time can be spent productively in science.

There is a tendency in our world art and music regarded as the basic part of our society. In my opinion, art and music still play a vital role in our contemporary life however although it helps all kinds of person's emotions positively, students do not allocate time for it as it is considered just a waste of time which the valuable time can be spent productively in science. 30k3Y
There is a tendency in our world art and music regarded as the basic part of our society. In my opinion, art and music still play a vital role in our contemporary life however although it helps all kinds of person's emotions positively, students do not allocate time for it as it is considered just a waste of time which the valuable time can be spent productively in science. The art and music industry is becoming prevalent day by day compared to the past. In other words, in the next following decades, it may keep its popularity and remain a dominant entertainment sector. The chief reason why art and music substantially will be preferable in the future is that the advancement in technology even contributes to the enhancement of it. What is more, people can readily access to this type of entertainment by using just their smartphones and not only they can just enjoy other pieces of music, but also can make their own music thanks to the cutting-edge technology. Pupils ought not to allocate their worthly time for art as they can basically access it whenever and even wherever they want by using various kinds of gadgets. There is no need to apply new subject related to art and music in educational sites as these pleces serve people to teach science, math, geography rather than entertaiment. It is even believed that art and music lead to certain detrimental issues. It deters students for example from real subjects that will help them to gain beneficial information. Nevertheless, children can enjoy art and music after class which in this case it affect them in positively way due to chilling out of mucis. To sum up, it is crystal clear that the music and art field will be the leader by supporting technology over the next few decades. and I also strongly argue that it would be excellent if students were not taught art but science.
There is a tendency in our world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
regarded as the basic part of our society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
still
play a vital role in our contemporary life
however
although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
all kinds of person's emotions
positively
, students do not allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for it as it
is considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be spent
productively
in science.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry is becoming prevalent day by day compared to the past.
In other words
, in the
next
following decades, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its popularity and remain a dominant entertainment sector. The chief reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
substantially
will be preferable in the future is that the advancement in technology even contributes to the enhancement of it.
What is more
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
readily
access to this type of entertainment by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their smartphones and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoy other pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
thanks to the cutting-edge technology.

Pupils ought not to allocate their
Possible spelling mistake found.
worthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as they can
basically
access it whenever and even wherever they want by using various kinds of gadgets. There is no need to apply new subject related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in educational sites as these
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleces
serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to teach science, math, geography
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaiment
. It is even believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lead to certain detrimental issues. It deters students
for example
from real subjects that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to gain beneficial information.
Nevertheless
, children can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
which
in this case
it
Did you mean "affects"?
affect
them in
positively
way due to chilling out of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mucis
.

To sum up, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
field will be the leader by supporting technology over the
next
few decades.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
I
also
strongly
argue that it would be excellent if students were not taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
science.
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IELTS essay There is a tendency in our world art and music regarded as the basic part of our society. In my opinion, art and music still play a vital role in our contemporary life however although it helps all kinds of person's emotions positively, students do not allocate time for it as it is considered just a waste of time which the valuable time can be spent productively in science.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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