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There is a question of whether families who do not send their children to government financed-schools should be required to pay taxes that support universal education or not.

There is a question of whether families who do not send their children to government financed-schools should be required to pay taxes that support universal education or not. 2GJo
There is a question of whether families who do not send their children to government financed-schools should be required to pay taxes that support universal education or not. Some people believe that every family should not be required to pay taxes because they do not receive any benefits from government financed schools. Personally, I firmly believe that those families who do not spend their children to government financed schools should be required to pay taxes for supporting universal education as well and the reasons shall be discussed in the following paragraphs. First of all, since right to education is a basic right that every child should obtain, public schools or government financed schools become the main part ensuring that children will receive basic education sufficiently and effectively. However, if some families decide to send their children to private schools, they have rights to do so as well. Nevertheless, this does not mean that they should not be required to pay taxes to support universal education. Government has to seek funds to run public schools in order to support education for their citizens, and the main source of government’s income is tax. Thus, I believe that families who do not send their children to government financed-schools still should be required to pay taxes to support universal education of the country. To summarize, it seems to me that it is not important whether families send their children to public schools or public schools, they all have to pay taxes to support universal education.
There is a question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financed-schools should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not receive any benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Personally
, I
firmly
believe that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who do not spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as well
and the reasons shall
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, since right to
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education
is a basic right that every child should obtain,
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public
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schools
or
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government
financed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
become the main part ensuring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will receive basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sufficiently
and
effectively
.
However
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, they have rights to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as well
.
Nevertheless
, this does not mean that they should not be
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required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
seek funds to run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their citizens, and the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
income is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
.
Thus
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financed-schools
still
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the country.

To summarize
, it seems to me that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, they all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay There is a question of whether families who do not send their children to government financed-schools should be required to pay taxes that support universal education or not.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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