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There is a popular view that advertising encourages everyone to want the same things in life, and to believe that we need these things in order to be happy. To what extent do you agree?

There is a popular view that advertising encourages everyone to want the same things in life, and to believe that we need these things in order to be happy. BJ7Om
In recent years, advertisements have succeeded in encouraging people to purchase certain products, e. g. houses and cars and believe these possession would lead to profound happiness in their life. However, I disagree to a certain extent with this view because some people seek their own happiness unlike these products. To begin with, commercials can enormously contribute to a number of people buying the same products. This can especially be seen in children who ask their parents to buy favorite toys that are introduced on TV shows. Also, these items such as video games would be critical in their school life where they communicate with other pupils over this topic. Furthermore, as for adults, they have been working hard and saving money for purchasing their own houses or cars, which are often said as certain goals for them to achieve; this encourages them to feel content with their lives. Some people, however, can find out what they really need and want in their lives under the pressure by our society. From their own point of views and values, they can choose different things from what the other people purchase regardless of famous commercials as they know what are their goals for happiness. In addition, there are those who do not find certain products, which people can buy, valuable; life experiences including travels and connections with loved ones would come first for them compared to the purchase of commercial products. In conclusion, while some people pursue their happiness by purchasing the same products that other people want through advertisements, others have different values.
In recent years, advertisements have succeeded in encouraging
people
to
purchase
certain
products
,
e. g.
houses
and cars and believe
these possession
would lead to profound
happiness
in their life.
However
, I disagree to a
certain
extent with this view
because
some
people
seek their
own
happiness
unlike these products.

To
begin
with, commercials can
enormously
contribute to a number of
people
buying the same
products
. This can
especially
be
seen
in children who ask their parents to
buy
favorite toys that
are introduced
on TV
shows
.
Also
, these items such as video games would be critical in their school life where they communicate with
other
pupils over this topic.
Furthermore
, as for adults, they have been working
hard
and saving money for purchasing their
own
houses
or cars, which are
often
said as
certain
goals for them to achieve; this encourages them to feel content with their
lives
.

Some
people
,
however
, can find out what they
really
need and want in their
lives
under the pressure by our society. From their
own
point of views and values, they can choose
different
things from what the
other
people
purchase
regardless of
famous
commercials as they know what are their goals for
happiness
.
In addition
, there are those who do not find
certain
products
, which
people
can
buy
, valuable; life experiences including travels and connections with
loved
ones would
come
first
for them compared to the
purchase
of commercial products.

In conclusion
, while
some
people
pursue their
happiness
by purchasing the same
products
that
other
people
want through advertisements, others have
different
values.
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IELTS essay There is a popular view that advertising encourages everyone to want the same things in life, and to believe that we need these things in order to be happy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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