Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It Is Sometimes Said That People Should Be Encouraged To Get Married Before They Turn 30

It Is Sometimes Said That People Should Be Encouraged To Get Married Before They Turn 30 PVLog
Nowadays, there are many concerns regarding the right age to get married. People believe that it is better both for individuals and the government if human beings get married before they turn thirty. However, my personal belief, it is more beneficial to get married after thirty. Firstly, young couples who rush to get married tend to have a high probability of getting a divorce. As a result, if these families have children it can be a problem for the government. For instance, often these parents do not have time and desire to educate babies. Consequently, society need to take care of children from incomplete family and spend more taxes on these activities instead of developing infrastructure or other goals. Secondly, I think that getting married at a young age can lead to financial problems. Many young adults do not have enough money to support new families, because they have just graduated and need to find a well-paid job, build a successful career. On top of everything, they need to understand what they want in life and save. All these tasks are not easy, especially if the young family has a baby and it can be a reason why young women or men may force to refuse career growth and in this case, the government might get fewer skilled workers. On the other hand, some people might argue that it can be harder for couples after thirty to get babies, but modern medicine has created a variety of methods to solve this issue. In conclusion, we can see that early marriages might have some difficulties and troubles and it can negatively influence young partners, children, and society.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns regarding the right age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that it is better both for individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
if human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they turn thirty.
However
, my personal belief, it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married after thirty.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples who rush to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married tend to have a high probability of getting a divorce.
As a result
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have children it can be a problem for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
these parents do not have time and desire to educate babies.
Consequently
, society need to take care of children from incomplete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and spend more taxes on these activities
instead
of developing infrastructure or other goals.

Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting married at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age can lead to financial problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to support new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated and need to find a well-paid job, build a successful career. On top of everything, they need to understand what they want in life and save. All these tasks are not easy,
especially
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has a baby and it can be a reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
women or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
may force
Did you mean "refusing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to refuse
career growth and
in this case
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fewer skilled workers.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that it can be harder for couples after thirty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
babies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
modern medicine has created a variety of methods to solve this issue.

In conclusion
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that early marriages might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties and troubles and it can
negatively
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
partners, children, and society.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It Is Sometimes Said That People Should Be Encouraged To Get Married Before They Turn 30

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts