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There has been a decline in the quality of air and water in cities nowadays. What causes this problem and what are some possible solutions?

There has been a decline in the quality of air and water in cities nowadays. What causes this problem and what are some possible solutions? XydDq
To start with, air and water are vital for people's life, people need it to continue their life. In contrast, it is known that the quality of air and water are becoming worse everyday. This essay will discuss the reason and solution for this. First of all, air and water are being polluted in many ways, however the most remarkable is transportations. For instance, most people have their own vehicle and they use it all the time. Obviously, the majority of families have at least one car, while others have one for each member, and it is affected to the environment by the smoke from engines. In addition, travel by ship or cruise is also affected by the water because all the waste from ships has been flown into the water. Subsequently these illustrate the main problem why the condition of air and water have been decreased gradually. A solution to this problem is that people should start using public transportation instead of using individual vehicles. For example, people use public transportation for daily activities. In particular, people go to work or school by public transport, so that it can decrease the enormous amount of the bad smoke to the air. Moreover people should stop traveling by ships, and we should use either public transportation or bicycles. Consequently, the quality of the air and water will be better if people start to practice this. To sum up, it has been demonstrated that only the transportations can make the air and water become this bad. Citizens should have been aware of this problem and started to solve this problem together. Nevertheless, I hope that in the future people will be living in a clean air and water
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are vital for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need it to continue their life.
In contrast
, it
is known
that the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are becoming worse
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. This essay will discuss the reason and solution for this.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are
being polluted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
however
the most remarkable is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
vehicle and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it all the time.
Obviously
, the majority of families have at least one car, while others have one for each member, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to the environment by the smoke from engines.
In addition
, travel by ship or cruise is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the waste from ships has
been flown
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
these illustrate the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
why the condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
have
been decreased
gradually
.

A solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
instead
of using individual vehicles.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
for daily activities.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to work or school by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can decrease the enormous amount of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
smoke to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
traveling by ships, and we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
or bicycles.
Consequently
, the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to practice this.

To sum up, it has
been demonstrated
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
become this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Citizens should have been aware of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
together.
Nevertheless
, I hope that in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be living in a clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
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IELTS essay There has been a decline in the quality of air and water in cities nowadays. What causes this problem and what are some possible solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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