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Job satisfaction is far less important than job security in the modern workplace. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement

Job satisfaction is far less important than job security in the modern workplace. How far VQXKO
Nowadays, in the modern era, people work in any organization for the sake of life and at the same time for ambition. But, due to the growth of population in a certain area and current conditions, people believe job security is more important rather than job satisfaction. Personally, I agree that job security is more essential in this situation compare to job satisfaction. First of all, everybody needs works to continue their life. As a result, people are required to work to get money to buy proper meals and pay home and utilities. In this situation where university produces a lot of graduations unable to secure a job because of demand and supply. Some of the graduations may find a job without considering qualification level to continue living so that able to pay education loans. Secondly, every people have a different opinion about job satisfaction. Definition for job satisfaction for certain individuals is like to work in good reputation company, international company, annual bonus, and salary increment, while others may consider long term prospects development like becoming manager in next three years or specialist in certain areas. This kind of aim is difficult to measure and may not be important compared to job security. What is more, job satisfaction will come later if people really enjoy the working environment. At first, there may secure job and later job satisfaction will come. Normally, people who enjoy works will respect their boss, colleagues and perform well because to secure the job without a problem. It cannot be denied people will fall in love with their job if really enjoy thus this situation will create job satisfaction. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that job security has a major impact on modern society depend on the individual ability to find the job that may be right for them.
Nowadays, in the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any organization for the sake of life and at the same time for ambition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, due to the growth of population in a certain area and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is more essential in this situation compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, everybody needs works to continue their life.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
proper meals and pay home and utilities. In this situation where university produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
graduations unable to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of demand and supply.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
graduations may find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without considering qualification level to continue living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that able to pay education loans.
Secondly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. Definition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
for certain individuals is like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, annual bonus, and salary increment, while others may consider long term prospects development like becoming manager in
next
three years or specialist in certain areas. This kind of aim is difficult to measure and may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
later if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
really
enjoy the working environment. At
first
, there may secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Normally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who enjoy works will respect their boss, colleagues and perform well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to secure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without a problem. It cannot
be denied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if
really
enjoy
thus
this situation will create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
has a major impact on modern society depend on the individual ability to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that may be right for them.
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IELTS essay Job satisfaction is far less important than job security in the modern workplace. How far

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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