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‘There are very few benefits for people to travel these days.’

‘There are very few benefits for people to travel these days. ’ 2aWDJ
It can be said that there are no benefits regarding travelling. However, I strongly think that travelling provides one with numerous positive elements. To begin with, travelers can have a number of opportunities to learn new things from different aspects. For instance, when I went to Australia for the first time, all of the experiences I had was extremely fresh and original. I could get to know totally different world outside of my country and that became an enriching memory in my life. Needless to say, those who make trips can have plenty of adventures which might not familiar to their cultures or lifestyles. Whether the adventures are enjoyable or not, they rarely have them many times in their lives and the memories must be unforgettable. Furthermore, travelling would be beneficial for the physical and mental health. Walking around some places makes people energize physically. Additionally, interacting with local citizens would be better for their mental health. In conclusion, the advantages of travelling would outweigh than the drawbaks. Travelers will acquire the chances to learn specific things and their trips would be more eventful than they expect. Indeed, the range of activities will be widened, which offer them several merits on their minds as well as bodies.
It can
be said
that there are no benefits regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
provides one with numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
elements.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, travelers can have a number of opportunities to learn new things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
For instance
, when I went to Australia for the
first
time,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
experiences I had was
extremely
fresh and original. I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
world
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
my country and that became an enriching memory in my life.

Needless to say, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
trips can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of adventures which might not familiar to their cultures or lifestyles. Whether the adventures are enjoyable or not, they rarely have them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the memories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be unforgettable.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
would be beneficial for the physical and mental health. Walking around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
energize
physically
.
Additionally
, interacting with local citizens would be better for their mental health.

In conclusion
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
would outweigh than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
drawbaks
. Travelers will acquire the chances to learn specific things and their trips would be more eventful than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.
Indeed
, the range of activities will
be widened
, which offer them several merits on their minds
as well
as bodies.

IELTS essay ‘There are very few benefits for people to travel these days. ’

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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