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There are two lifestyles ,earn more and spend more and earn more and save more. Which one do you support and why?

There are two lifestyles, earn more and spend more and earn more and save more. Which one do you support and why? PVMOX
Modernisation has changed the lifestyle of people around the world as now they give more emphasis on money for the procurement of their needs. That is why, the two lifestyles have been developed, one is the, earn more and spend more, and the other is save more. I agree with the latter lifestyle because of some reasons. To commence with, saving more money is important rather than spending because it is inevitable that future is uncertain and a person cannot predict that what is going to happen in a life. This is because, people are living in the dynamic world which is full of difficulties. For instance, in a future, if a car accident or critical illness happens, then a person needs a money to deal with these kinds of problems. If a person does not have saved money then an individual can be in worst situation. So, to overcome the difficulties in near future, people needs to save money. Furthermore, another point of supporting the view of saving more is that, nowadays, people do not value money. Reason for this is the modern era, where to attain the luxury items, people squander the money which is not a good attitude. To cite an example, people mostly spend the money on branded clothes, costly cars to show off to their peers. This lifestyle actually take away them from acknowledging the actual use of money like for their necessities of future medical expenses, their children’s study expenditure. This is why, people should give more significance to saving money to know the apt use of money. To conclude, spending more money can give the temporary happiness to the people with materialistic things which is actually not good for future. By saving money, one can become strong to overcome the upcoming surprises of a life and can have permanent happiness.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Modernisation' is British English.
Modernisation
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they give more emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the procurement of their needs.
That is
why, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
have
been developed
, one is
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the,
earn more and spend more, and the other is
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
more. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is inevitable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is uncertain and a person cannot predict that what is going to happen in a life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in the dynamic world which is full of difficulties.
For instance
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, if a car accident or critical illness happens, then a person needs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to deal with these kinds of problems. If a person does not have saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then an individual can be in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to overcome the difficulties in near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Furthermore
, another point of supporting the view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
more is that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Reason for this is the modern era, where to attain the luxury items,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
squander the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude. To cite an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on branded clothes, costly cars to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off to their peers. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
actually take away them from acknowledging the actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
like for their necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
medical expenses, their children’s study expenditure. This is why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give more significance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to know the apt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
To conclude
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can give the temporary happiness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with materialistic things which is actually not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, one can become strong to overcome the upcoming surprises of a life and can have permanent happiness.
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IELTS essay There are two lifestyles, earn more and spend more and earn more and save more. Which one do you support and why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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