Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are some individuals believed that music has a great impact on bringing different cultures and people synergize together.

There are some individuals believed that music has a great impact on bringing different cultures and people synergize together. gW59L
Music plays a crucial role in our lives and reduces differences among various societies and generations. It composes harmony and reflects emotion. There are some individuals believed that music has a great impact on bringing different cultures and people synergize together. First of all, music helps us acknowledge the cultural differences amongst people, from all over the world. The reason is that variations of musical instruments and sounds motivate people to listen to the music by forgetting the culture variations. Also, it will reduce discrimination among people of different ages. A study says, when we listen to English songs, as it is not our mother language, we can feel the significance of it. As a result, the music of other countries and cultures is becoming more popular. Another reason is that famous musicians have no boundaries, because they can perform anywhere in the world despite cultural differences. To be more specific, nowadays K-POP artists are moving to the USA to perform which is more globally recognized. Although citizens of the foreign country may not understand the languages of the music, they love the voice, dance choreography, and musical approach. Moreover, when we hear the national anthem of any country, we just stand up and respect the country, which is mean that music can decline the resentment among us. In conclusion, music is the most common way we can enrich our emotions, knowledge, and respect for others. It will also widen our minds and reduce cultural discrimination, which is very crucial for understanding other cultures, values, and traditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays a crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
differences among various societies and generations. It composes harmony and reflects emotion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a great impact on bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
synergize together.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us acknowledge the cultural differences
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, from all over the world. The reason is that variations of musical instruments and sounds motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by forgetting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
variations.
Also
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
discrimination among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages. A study says, when we listen to English songs, as it is not our mother language, we can feel the significance of it.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
is becoming more popular.

Another reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musicians have no boundaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can perform anywhere in the world despite cultural differences. To be more specific, nowadays K-POP artists are moving to the USA to perform which is more globally recognized. Although citizens of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may not understand the languages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the voice, dance choreography, and musical approach.
Moreover
, when we hear the national anthem of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stand up and respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which is mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can decline the resentment among us.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the most common way we can enrich our emotions, knowledge, and respect for others. It will
also
widen our minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cultural discrimination, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for understanding other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, values, and traditions.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay There are some individuals believed that music has a great impact on bringing different cultures and people synergize together.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    polling percentages at university
    The table give illustrates about polling the student for services in an university. The survey do in every five years start from 2000 until 2010. Electronics resources have increase of number every five year start from 45 percent until 88 percent this depending advance of technology it make the peo...
  • 6band
    car exhaust contributes a large portion to air pollution around the world
    Is that every year there is an event in the world called international car-free day. This is a day when everyone in the world won't have a car. But there are a lot of opinions that don't need to eat, have to stop working. Take a car, but just need to change a few things. It's right or wrong, let's g...
  • 5band
    describe the floating market
    Floating market is a special cultural feature of Southeast Asian countries, including Vietnam. They are held all day but most bustling in the early morning. The name floating market comes from the buying and selling of goods by boats floating on the river. Looking at the picture we can see the boats...
  • 5band
    Choose ONE of the following topics to write a descriptive paragraph( at least 200 words) to describe the place below
    A clear sky appears before the viewer's eyes when looking at the picture. The sky is strangely blue with light yellow rays in the early morning on the countryside. The air is fresh and cool, the glittering dew drops on the rice leaves are like beautiful little pearls The image of the grain-laden ric...
  • 5band
    The picture illustrates the process of electricity generation in a hydroelectric power station.
    The picture illustrates the process of electricity generation in a hydroelectric power station. In general, water is collected from a river to the dam, then the current of water will be generated to produce electricity. To begin, electricity production in the hydroelectric power station starts wit...
  • 5band
    describe the scene of rice fields
    A clear sky appears before the viewer's eyes when looking at the picture. The sky is strangely blue with light yellow rays in the early morning on the countryside. The air is fresh and cool, the glittering dew drops on the rice leaves are like beautiful little pearls. The image of the grain-laden ri...