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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Other believe that international sporting events bricks more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Other believe that international sporting events bricks more problems than benefits. y2yD
There are split views regarding global sporting events. Some people think that this functions should be organised by their nation; however, another group of person support that it gives more issues than advantages. I firmly support the former view because of some reasons. Both the views are discussed in the ensuing write-ups. There are several arguments why people believe that global sporting events must be host by their country. The first and foremost one is that sporting functions can help in growth of economy. In other words, international sporting events bring more tourists in hosting nation who buy products from local shops and also stay in hotels. That money helps government to do more public welfare works. For example, there is a survey which was conducted by United Nations; it states that there is 5% financial promotion in Rio after the Olympic games in 2016. Furthermore, sporting functions can inspire youth to choose sports as career. By this I mean that, if local public of hosting nation watch this events and understand the value of sport, they will get motivated to play outdoor games. On the contrary, there is a opposite view about international sporting event because some reasons. The primary cause os that, for arrangement of global sporting event; large amount of funds are required like hotel stay of players and food expenditure which are very expensive. In conclusion, I strongly believe that global sporting occasions are beneficial for a particular country because it provides economic growth to nation as well as motivation to yong generation. Besides this, it also need large amount of money to organize.
There
are split
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Did you mean "these"?
this
functions should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
;
however
, another group of person support that it gives more issues than advantages. I
firmly
support the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
are discussed
in the ensuing write-ups.

There are several arguments why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "hosted".
host
by their country. The
first
and foremost one is that sporting functions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in growth of economy.
In other words
, international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring more tourists in hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from local shops and
also
stay in hotels. That money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to do more public welfare works.
For example
, there is a survey which
was conducted
by United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
; it states that there is 5% financial promotion in Rio after the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
in 2016.
Furthermore
, sporting functions can inspire youth to choose sports as career. By this I mean that, if local public of hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and understand the value of sport, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated to play outdoor games.

On the contrary
, there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
about international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. The primary cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
that, for arrangement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
; large amount of funds
are required
like hotel stay of players and food expenditure which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting occasions are beneficial for a particular country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides economic growth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
as motivation to
Possible spelling mistake found.
yong
generation.
Besides
this, it
also
Did you mean "needs"?
need
large amount of money to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organize' and 'organise') within a single text.
organize
.
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IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Other believe that international sporting events bricks more problems than benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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