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There are more desirable goals rather than a successful career to attain in our life.

There are more desirable goals rather than a successful career to attain in our life. Bwe1d
(5) There are more desirable goals rather than a successful career to attain in our life. (6) One of the primary reasons for working people not to do enough or any exercise is the abysmal working condition. (7) For instance, employers have constant deadlines and tough targets at their offices. (8) To achieve them, they have to work for long hours each day. (9) It drains their stamina, and as a consequence, they do not want to do any exercise even when they are at home. (10) In addition, dependency on technology has fueled up the condition
(5) There are more desirable

goals
rather
than a successful career to attain in our life. (6) One of the primary reasons for working

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or any exercise is the abysmal working condition. (7)
For instance
, employers have constant deadlines and tough targets at their offices. (8) To achieve them, they have

to work for long hours each day. (9) It drains their stamina, and as a consequence, they do not want

to do any exercise even when they are at home. (10)
In addition
, dependency on technology has

fueled up the condition

IELTS essay There are more desirable goals rather than a successful career to attain in our life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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