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The table gives information about proportions of pupils going four secondary school kinds from 2000 to 2009

The table gives information about proportions of pupils going four secondary school kinds from 2000 to 2009 3bQXn
Overall, there have been a lot of different changes in these persentages of these given secondary school attendence. Firstly, there have been a ton of decreases in those 3 school types ( specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled ) from 2000 to 2009. The specialist school was 12 % but in the end of the 2009 it was 10% also, grammar school decline from 24% to 12% in this period and voluntary-controlled school's was the most because it was 52% in 2000 but in 2009 secondary school attendance was only 20% Between 2000 and 2009 there was a rise only in community schools attendance was 12% and it increased until 32% in 2005 also, it has grown again so, in 2009 the persentage of secondary school attendence wa 58 %
Overall
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in these
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persentages
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
attendence
.
Firstly
, there have been a ton of decreases in those 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
types
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
from 2000 to 2009. The specialist
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school
was 12 %
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but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 2009 it was 10%
also
, grammar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
decline from 24% to 12% in this period and voluntary-controlled
Consider using the plural form here: "schools".
school's
was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was 52% in 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2009 secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
attendance was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% Between 2000 and 2009 there was a rise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
attendance was 12% and it increased until 32% in 2005
also
, it has grown again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in 2009 the
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persentage
of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
attendence
Possible spelling mistake found.
wa
58 %
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IELTS essay The table gives information about proportions of pupils going four secondary school kinds from 2000 to 2009

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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