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there are more and more children growing obese

there are more and more children growing obese 8GyLl
Recently, the living standard has improved and that result in the children nutrition development. However, the youth are consuming too much food than the needs for body lead them to obesity. This essay will explore the reasons and some solution for this issue. One of the reason lead to obesity in children is that they eat high fat foods and eat them too frequently. Parents opinion is that fat is healthy so they feed their kids excessive amount of foods and then children who is spoiled soon gaining weight and such disease like fatness, diabetes become a risk to their health. Moreover, vegetables are lack, not added in the meals or they are fried which turn into oily food and lost some vitamins. Another reason cause fatness in the youth is that the children exercise less. They give preference playing video and watching TV rather than playing sports outdoor. Their bodies soon become weak and the endurance of them last shortly. In addition, not only their bodies, their minds be affected as well, lack of physical activities can lead to stress and depression. The solution for obesity in kids lies on the parents. One of the solution is create meals with various types of foods, which contain protein, vitamin, and starch. As for such foods like fast foods and sweets, parents should eat them in some occasion instead of being the main meals for the family. Another solution is that encouraging family members to exercise and play together. This helps lower the risk of fatness, improve the health of the family and bond between members. In conclusion, obesity in youngster is a serious problems in modern life and causes by many factors. The health of fat people will be harm and impact on both physically and mentally. Nevertheless, the solution is simple so that people can follow the induction to prevent from being overweight
Recently, the living standard has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and that result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nutrition development.
However
, the youth are consuming too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than the needs for body lead them to obesity. This essay will explore the reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for this issue.

One of the reason lead to obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they eat high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and eat them too
frequently
. Parents opinion is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feed their kids excessive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
is spoiled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
gaining weight and such disease like fatness, diabetes become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to their health.
Moreover
, vegetables are lack, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
meals or
they
are fried
which turn into oily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vitamins. Another reason cause fatness in the youth is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
exercise less. They give preference playing video and watching TV
rather
than playing sports outdoor. Their bodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become weak and the endurance of them last shortly.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their bodies, their minds be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as well
, lack of physical activities can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for obesity in kids lies on the parents. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is create meals with various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, which contain protein, vitamin, and starch. As for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and sweets, parents should eat them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion
instead
of being the main meals for the family. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is that encouraging family members to exercise and play together. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of fatness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of the family and bond between members.

In conclusion
, obesity in youngster is a serious
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
in modern life and causes by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors. The health of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be harm and impact on both
physically
and mentally.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can follow the induction to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from being overweight
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IELTS essay there are more and more children growing obese

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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