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Some people think that social media, i.e. Facebook and Twitter, can replace face-to-face contacts. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that social media, i. e. Facebook and Twitter, can replace face-to-face contacts. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? 0aJo3
Social media have gradually occupied the position of direct interaction in modern society. Even though they offer people a huge amount of benefits, I believe that there are also some drawbacks. In the one hand, social media have a lucrative impact on human’s lives. People can communicate with others conveniently regardless of distance. Perhaps they might be able to contact rapidly to people they want through smartphones and computer screens rather than meeting directly. For instance, people who go to study in faraway place might be able to keep in touch with their family and friends in Viet Nam by the function of Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, so on. As a result, talking online might be able to cope with the disadvantage of long distance as well as save time for people in the hectic lifestyle. Conversely, online interaction might also have the variety of detrimental effects which make it not be able to replace face to face communication. Merely talking through screens might impact on human’s characters. They might turn into the introvert because of lacking direct contact, which undermines people’s communication capability. Thus, it might result in the isolation and loneliness in the schools or workplaces because they may not be able to connect to others if they have to talk face to face to their peers or colleagues. Additionally, when people interact together in real life, they frequently express their notions through not only verbal communication but also body language and eye contact which talking through social media might not provide. Therefore, interacting by just online methods may cause misunderstanding each other if people can not explain their idea clearly and understandably. In conclusion, I strongly argue that social media may be one of the most fabulous invention of humanity because of its demerits if people perceive how to spend them sensibly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
gradually
occupied the position of direct interaction in modern society.
Even though
they offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a huge amount of benefits, I believe that there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

In the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a lucrative impact on human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can communicate with others
conveniently
regardless of distance. Perhaps they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to contact
rapidly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
smartphones and computer screens
rather
than meeting
directly
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who go to study in faraway place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their family and friends in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam by the function of Facebook, Messenger, Instagram,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
As a result
, talking online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to cope with the disadvantage of long distance
as well
as
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the hectic lifestyle.

Conversely
, online interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
also
have the variety of detrimental effects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication.
Merely
talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
screens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
impact on
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human characters"?
human’s characters
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
turn into the introvert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking direct contact, which undermines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
communication capability.
Thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
result in the isolation and loneliness in the schools or workplaces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to connect to others if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to their peers or colleagues.
Additionally
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact together in real life, they
frequently
express their notions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
verbal communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
body language and eye contact which talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not provide.
Therefore
, interacting by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
online methods may cause misunderstanding each other if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
clearly
and
understandably
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may be one of the most fabulous invention of humanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its demerits if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive how to spend them
sensibly
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that social media, i. e. Facebook and Twitter, can replace face-to-face contacts. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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