Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are many opinions about the effects that sport have on children.

There are many opinions about the effects that sport have on children. Some suggested that it makes young people compete against one another, others imply that the activities teach them about how to work as a group to acheive thier goal. Both sides of the arguements have a valid point which shall be discussed furthur. To start off, sport is an activity that is focusing on a competition, whether it is a racing between groups or a matching between one person to another. Therefore, it is fairly common that any sports participants would be force to race against another person. In regards to children, it is an understandable concern that their immaturity might cause a conflict between their peers. However, it could be argued that the competition that these young people has been put through is one form of an education for their mentality. In real life, a competition is inevietable, therefore, it is advised that children are getting used to the idea and deal with the issue in an appropriate manner. Moving on, team work is an essential aspect on sport, especially for sports that work as a groups, such as Football or Basketball. By becoming a part of this practices, young sportsmen will eventually adapt into a social environment that require a participation from every individual. The children will likely to learn about their own strengths and weaknesses as well as others, but most importantly, the ability to make a decisive plan using available resources that their have along with performing a sufficient co-ordination among teammates. All of the mentioned are important skills that is crucial in real-life workplace. To summarise, sport is important to young people as it teaches them multitude of skills that are extremely useful in real-life situation as well as a healthy mentality regarding themselves and others.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions about the effects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
have on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
suggested that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
compete against one another, others imply that the activities teach them about how to work as a group to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
goal. Both sides of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguements
have a valid point which shall
be discussed
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is an activity
that is
focusing on a competition, whether it is a racing between groups or a matching between one person to another.
Therefore
, it is
fairly
common that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
participants would be force to race against another person.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
In regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it is an understandable concern that their immaturity might cause a conflict between their peers.
However
, it could
be argued
that the competition that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been put
through is one form of an education for their mentality. In real life, a competition is
Possible spelling mistake found.
inevietable
,
therefore
, it
is advised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and deal with the issue
Consider replacing "in an appropriate manner" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate manner
.

Moving on, team work is an essential aspect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that work as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a group" or simply "groups"?
a groups
, such as Football or Basketball. By becoming a part of
Did you mean "these"?
this
practices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
sportsmen will
eventually
adapt into a social environment that require a participation from every individual. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will likely to learn about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strengths and weaknesses
as well
as others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
importantly
, the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decisive plan using available resources that their have along with performing a sufficient co-ordination among teammates.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
mentioned are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that is
crucial in real-life workplace.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it teaches them multitude of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are
extremely
useful in real-life situation
as well
as a healthy mentality regarding themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay There are many opinions about the effects that sport have on children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts