Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Please tell us about a time when you showed great initiative. What influence did your actions have on your life and/or the people around you?

When I was in my 9th grade, The Election Commission of India hosted various literary and cultural events around the country. My teachers selected a couple of my batchmates along with me for the mock parliament event. We were around 20 students in total. The first round's deadline was a week and a half away. I was excited because not only I was given the lead role of a Prime minister but also this was my first time in a mock event. I took the initiative of preparing the entire script. Furthermore, I started my research on mock parliaments and within half a week, I was ready with the roles and script. Since it was politics that we needed to talk about, I had to be extremely cautious while writing the dialouges and portraying real life politicians. To my surprise, we ended up winning the preliminary round which was at the district level, and then we qualified for the State level. We won the competition by securing first place in the state of Telangana. I have always enjoyed trying things that I have never done before. And for instance, the Mock parliament was one of those activities that I wasn't familiar with. The opportunity was right in front of me and I am happy that I took the initiative. My school has never won such a competition at State level and for me and my friends who were a part of it, it was a big moment for us. Not only it made us feel confident, but also polished our teamworking skills. The time invested in it was worth every penny as we got to know alot about politics, current affairs and the Parliament. Since that year, my juniors actively participate in such events.
When I was in my 9th grade, The Election Commission of India hosted various literary and cultural
events
around the country. My teachers selected a couple of my
batchmates
along with me for the
mock
parliament
event
. We were around 20 students in total. The
first
round's deadline was a week and a half away. I
was excited
because
not
only
I was
given
the lead role of a Prime minister
but
also
this was my
first
time in a
mock
event
. I took the initiative of preparing the entire script.

Furthermore
, I
started
my research on
mock
parliaments
and within half a week, I was ready with the roles and script. Since it was politics that we needed to talk about, I had to be
extremely
cautious while writing the
dialouges
and portraying real life politicians. To my surprise, we ended up winning the preliminary round which was at the district level, and then we qualified for the State level. We won the competition by securing
first
place in the state of Telangana.

I have always enjoyed trying things that I have never done
before
. And
for instance
, the
Mock
parliament
was one of those activities that I wasn't familiar with. The opportunity was right in front of
me and
I am happy that I took the initiative. My school has never won such a competition at State level and for me and my friends who were a part of it, it was a
big
moment for us. Not
only
it made us feel confident,
but
also
polished our
teamworking
skills
. The time invested in it was worth every penny as we
got
to know
alot
about politics,
current
affairs and the
Parliament
. Since that year, my juniors
actively
participate in such
events
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Please tell us about a time when you showed great initiative. What influence did your actions have on your life and/or the people around you?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts