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There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work?

There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work? 6Ppx
Gender issues is now a touchy subject, and statistics show how dire the disparity between men and women is, especially when considering the employment patterns in the sphere of science and technology. Even though now the situation in education seems to look up, women appear to face troubles afterwards, when their career is supposed to start. There is a reason for such a phenomenon and few remedies to it too. Nowadays, when battle of sexes is allegedly in the past and women are no longer seen as a weaker sex and a household tool, the problem of female employment in science and technology perpetuates. Younger women, for example, are taken as future mothers, and their possible employers prefer not to risk having a female worker going on maternal leave right away. In their eyes it is much safer to hire an older woman, or a male counterpart. Female employment rate in Russia seems to be a case in point. The solution for such a matter might be tax incentives implemented by government. Having it imposed on science and technology connected workplaces, this will ensure that a sufficient number of female graduates is employed and no sexism is tolerated. In movie industry, for example, there is a minority rate that opens the door for many people that face discrimination in the sphere of entertainment. Also, if a direct connection between workplaces and educational institutions is established, all graduates can no longer face the dreadful fear of being unemployed. This approach, however, can only work when both of the above-mentioned measures are taken. In conclusion, the employment methods in the field of science and technology need a radical overhaul, for women are still mistrusted there. Measures taken by government, on the other hand, can solve this problem, making it possible for female scientists to carve out their place in science.
Gender issues is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a touchy subject, and statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how dire the disparity between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is,
especially
when considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
patterns in the sphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the situation in education seems to look up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
appear to face troubles afterwards, when their career
is supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. There is a reason for such a phenomenon and few remedies to it too.

Nowadays, when battle of sexes is allegedly in the past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This expression can be considered offensive.
weaker sex
and a household tool, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
perpetuates. Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
for example
,
are taken
as future mothers, and their possible employers prefer not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
worker going on maternal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
right away. In their eyes it is much safer to hire an older woman, or a male counterpart.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate in Russia seems to be a case in point.

The solution for such a matter might be tax incentives implemented by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Having it imposed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
connected workplaces, this will ensure that a sufficient number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
graduates
is employed
and no sexism
is tolerated
. In movie industry,
for example
, there is a minority rate that opens the door for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that face discrimination in the sphere of entertainment.
Also
, if a direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
workplaces and educational institutions
is established
, all graduates can no longer face the dreadful fear of
being unemployed
. This approach,
however
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work when both of the above-mentioned measures
are taken
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
methods in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
need a radical overhaul, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
still
mistrusted there. Measures taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
on the other hand
, can solve this problem, making it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
scientists to carve out their place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
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IELTS essay There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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