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There are many different types of music today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? 7YqX
In human society, there are plenty of recreations for people on relaxation. Music is one of the major transformative types during the human civilization development. Indeed, the influence of the music on cultures are tremendous. However, a plethora of public question about the usage of the musics are important still under quarrel and reexamination is under- requirement. When people comes to music, it is not rare that it represent and transmitted ancestor`s messages in tribes or Nations. In addition, the scientists has reveal the benefit of playing instruments and listening music. For instance, when people doing a stressful tesk, the corticosteroid concentration in blood always soaring. This hormone can elevated the efficiency of the energy. However, once these people hear the classic music, their stressful hormone blood level decline to normal level after the music is playing for a while. On the other hand, the music is part of the culture. So it sustain the spirit of a race or a country. In fact, every country has its own Nation Anthem. Although ancient music has not wide spread to else where, it is critical for the public knowing the ancient music than International music. Indeed, ancient music provide the data of ancient people life, and it support the modern society has a clue to trace back the history to make future decision. For example, Chinese philosophers create a ceremony through the music. As a result, the lyric of the music has abundance manners tutorials when the music is practiced by learners. In other words, it uncovered the truth about the vital position that International music. In conclusion, it would not hard for people to accept the music in daily. However, the usage of it not just focus on cultures transmission in different generation, but also the practical implementation on the elimination of stress. As far as people concern, ancient music supply the origin of history and its position is far more important than International music. The ancient music can influence other mind and its contagious function can erase the sentimental feeling when any race or Nation want to establish abstract image in human mind. Through the metaphors and abstract concept of ancient music, it console people during the hard time, and the result is obvious to be recognized. As well as National Anthem, it function is similar to the lachrymose during war time.
In human society, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of recreations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on relaxation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is one of the major transformative types during the human civilization development.
Indeed
, the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on cultures are tremendous.
However
, a plethora of public question about the usage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
still
under quarrel and reexamination is under- requirement. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it is not rare that it represent and transmitted
The character between 'ancestor' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "ancestor’s" (curly apostrophe) or "ancestor's" (straight apostrophe).
ancestor`s
messages in tribes or Nations.
In addition
, the scientists has
Use past participle here: "revealed".
reveal
the benefit of playing instruments and listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing a stressful
Possible spelling mistake found.
tesk
, the corticosteroid concentration in blood always soaring. This hormone can elevated the efficiency of the energy.
However
, once these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hear the classic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, their stressful hormone blood level decline to normal level after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is playing for a while.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is part of the culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
Did you mean "sustains"?
sustain
the spirit of a race or a country. In fact, every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Nation Anthem. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has not wide spread to else where, it is critical for the public knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
provide the data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life, and it
Did you mean "supports"?
support
the modern society has a clue to trace back the history to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
future decision.
For example
, Chinese philosophers create a ceremony through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
As a result
, the lyric of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has abundance manners tutorials when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is practiced
by learners.
In other words
, it uncovered the truth about the vital position that International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
In conclusion
, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in daily.
However
, the usage of it not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on cultures transmission in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the practical implementation on the elimination of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. As far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
supply the origin of history and its position is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can influence other mind and its contagious function can erase the sentimental feeling when any race or Nation want to establish abstract image in human mind. Through the metaphors and abstract concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it
Did you mean "consoles"?
console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time, and the result is obvious to
be recognized
.
As well
as National Anthem,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
function is similar to the lachrymose during war time.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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