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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? r8bLo
Music is a part of the art. It obvious that music as old as the human being in this world. Each of things have their own magnetic sounds. Music helps to make perfectionism our life. It is a divine donation to humanity. There are various musics in the world. For instance, classic, pop, rock, country and others. Music is one part of our life. We listen music everyday. Music is like true friend, in happy, merry and woe times it will together. For example when i listen to music i forget a bit about problems and sorrows. Music influence straight to human mind and help to make refresh and relax. In addition in the past severe patients were recovered by listening to musics. Currently a deal of young people listen to international music but from my point of view traditional music is more important that international. Each country has traditional musics. it is the part of particular culture. Each culture has various form of music. By listening or looking at the music a common people can guess what types of culture. In conclusion I would say that, music is in our minds beginning from our birth until our death. Music is an inseparable part of this world. We cannot live without music being the part of this world of full noise and beat. I think, music is the same to our soul, like the bath to our body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the art.
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
obvious that
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music
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
as the human being in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Each of things have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
magnetic sounds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perfectionism our life. It is a divine donation to humanity.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For instance
, classic, pop, rock, country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our life. We listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is like true friend, in happy, merry and woe times it will together.
For example
when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
forget a bit about problems and sorrows.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
influence straight to human mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
refresh and relax. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
in the past severe patients
were recovered
by listening to musics.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
a deal of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
listen to international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from my point of view traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that international. Each country has traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of particular culture. Each culture has various form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. By listening or looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can guess what types of culture.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
would say that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is in our minds beginning from our birth until our death.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an inseparable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of full noise and beat. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the same to our soul, like the bath to our body.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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