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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays B0lm
There are certain things revolving us which directly or indirectly help us calm down and we do not even notice them. One such case in point is music. Music is just not an art but science also. It is believed by many people that music has therapeutical benefits. There are several kinds of music practiced and enjoyed all over the world. But not all sorts of music is soothing to everone. I am going to write an essay on the effect of a good music on ones temperament and why people are chosing International music over the traditional music of their county. Music is any sound which pleases the receiver’s ears and it lies everywhere in many forms. The first thundering sound before it is going to rain is a music to the farmers ears. The clattering keys from the outside of the door is a music to the ears of a wife. The first cry of the baby is the most pleasant music into the tired mother’s ears. There can be several of such examples which illustrates the importance of these music and shows the benefits of having them around us. The songs or the melodies played by musical instrument perform the role to satisfy a person and forget his bad temperament provided the music is of his choice. This is the core reason why a lot of people these days prefer to listen to International music over the traditional music of their region, because not everyone is aware of their folk music or songs and their meanings. They do not understand their importance and their origination. Whereas International songs are always played on their TV or cell phones and easily understandable. These traditional songs recite of the traditional values of the region. It is important to know these music so as to be rooted to their culture. Hence to conclude, any form of music should be praised but knowing the music from ones own region help them know their roots well. These music help the person to enrich his traditional and cultural lifestyle and so the music is preserved. Else, these melodies are slowly dying and the coming generations will not know the plethora of music once we owned.
There are certain things revolving us which
directly
or
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us calm
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
down and
we do not even notice them. One such case in point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not an art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
science
also
. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
therapeutical
benefits. There are several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
practiced and enjoyed all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is soothing to
Possible spelling mistake found.
everone
. I am going to write an essay on the effect of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
temperament and why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
chosing
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of their county.

Music is any sound which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleases
the receiver’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ears
and it lies everywhere in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms. The
first
thundering sound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is going to rain is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to the farmers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ears
. The clattering keys from the outside of the door is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ears
of a wife.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
cry of the baby is the most pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
into the tired mother’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ears
. There can be several of such examples which illustrates the importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the benefits of having them around us. The songs or the melodies played by musical instrument perform the role to satisfy a person and forget his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
temperament provided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is of his choice.

This is the core reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days prefer to listen to International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of their region,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not everyone is aware of their folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or songs and their meanings. They do not understand their importance and their origination. Whereas International songs are always played on their TV or cell phones and
easily
understandable. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
songs recite of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values of the region. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be rooted
to their culture.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
to conclude
, any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should
be praised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
region
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them know their roots well. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the person to enrich his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and cultural lifestyle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is preserved
. Else, these melodies are
slowly
dying and the coming generations will not know the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
once we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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