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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Y6Bm
Healthy mind lives in a healthy body. The dynamics of health routines of an individual has been changed rampantly over the years. Nowadays people are more health conscious and concerned for their health. A healthy person may be defined as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. In country like India, these habits varies from person to person. To begin with, it has been seen that the dramatic change in the health aspects is solely due to the availability of amenities. In the past the amenities were not so vast and consequently, people remain unfit. However, in today's scenario, the cases are different. A person obtains a proper health due to numerous reasons. Firstly, good diet, every individual has penchant for scrumptious food but it should be avoid, these taste contain various problems such as obesity and laziness. The eating habits must be controlled and one should eat green vegetables, fruits and should drink lots of water. Secondly, exercise routines, one must do plenty of exercise. Likewise, meditation, jogging, morning or evening walks and gyming helps the person to attain good physic. Moreover, the most important aspect is the stress, facts and figures show that from the recent past, people are having more hectic schedules and more work load which often leads to stress. It acts as a bane. The stress kills the peace of mind and because of this an individual become more vulnerable to diseases. Moving further, in country like India, the health concerns varies from person to person. India is considered as a youth's country but it also comprises of the old. Currently, The youth's are considered as health freak and on the other hand old people also take care of their health. The different significant ways through which different age group keeps them fit are as follows. First and the foremost, the youth's, the future of a country. It has been seen that gym and the health clubs are opened at wild pace over the country in recent years solely because of the demand of youth. This prior category, sweat out mostly in the gym or by opting a sport at health club. Also by avoiding fast food and drinks help an individual to lead a fruitful life. These parameters help them to remain healthy. Additionally, the meditation centres and yoga clubs also play pivotal role in healthy living. Furthermore, the most experienced class of the society that is the elderly people, they usually prefer to do light exercise like walking and jogging. It has been observed that most of the elderly people follow the same routine. Early morning walks and balanced diet plays a crucial role in keeping old people fit. To recapitulate, I would like to say that its upon the individual to remain fit. Several ways are introduced nowadays. But the most important is by opting healthy diet and good exercise on daily basis.
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Healthy
mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body. The dynamics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
routines of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rampantly
over the years. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conscious and concerned for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may
be defined
as someone who has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
diet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and avoids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. In
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country
like India, these habits varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to person.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
aspects is
solely
due to the availability of amenities. In the past the amenities were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vast and
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remain unfit.
However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's scenario, the cases are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
obtains a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
due to numerous reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
diet, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has penchant for scrumptious food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should be
Consider using the past participle "avoided"?
avoid
, these taste contain various problems such as obesity and laziness. The eating habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
and one should eat green vegetables, fruits and should drink lots of water.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
routines, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Likewise
, meditation, jogging, morning or evening walks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
gyming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physic.
Moreover
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, facts and figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that from the recent past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having more hectic schedules and more work load which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. It acts as a bane. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
kills the peace of mind and
because of this
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
become more vulnerable to diseases.

Moving
further
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concerns varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. India
is considered
as a youth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Currently
, The youth's
are considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
freak and
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
significant ways through which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them fit are as follows.
First
and the foremost, the youth's, the future of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that gym and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
clubs
are opened
at wild pace over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in recent years
solely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the demand of youth. This prior category, sweat out
mostly
in the gym or by opting a sport at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
club.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
by avoiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and drinks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to lead a fruitful life. These parameters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Additionally
, the meditation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and yoga clubs
also
play pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living.
Furthermore
, the most experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the society
that is
the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
usually
prefer to do light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
like walking and jogging. It has
been observed
that most of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow the same routine. Early morning walks and balanced diet plays a crucial role in keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fit.

To recapitulate, I would like to say that its upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to remain fit. Several ways
are introduced
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is by opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on daily basis.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
487 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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