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There are many different reasons that can keep a person in their workplace. Some believe that money is the main reason. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There are many different reasons that can keep a person in their workplace. Some believe that money is the main reason. Jow6E
It is argued that there are many various reasons for keeping an individual in their workplace and some think that fund is the major reason. This essay totally agrees with the statement because employers maintain their workforce by rewarding them with attractive salaries. Furthermore, provision of an accomodating environment is another essential factor that is necessary to retain employee. Firstly, people work mainly because of remuneration. This is because the money acquired through rendering skill for the employing organization has a huge impact on aspects of their lives as these funds are used in catering for themselves and family needs. For example, a group of civil servants were interviewed in Africa, they claimed that the income from their work is utilized on basic needs and they depend solely on it as they have no other means of survival. Therefore, they maintain their work because of the salary being paid. Secondly, retaining employee requires the company to provide a safe working environment. This is very essential because safety of workers is paramount to job efficiency and this encourage staffs to stay for a longer period since lives are secured. For instance, a famous organization in the west is able to maintain working population than others because of adequate security that is provided for workers, as a result, effectiveness is improved. In conclusion, this essay completely agrees with the idea that staffs are retained in a workplace purposely because of money and other essential factor include a condusive environmental space for working. It is therefore recommended that companies should give high reward for their workers and ensure safe environment for work in order to retain staff.
It
is argued
that there are
many
various reasons for keeping an individual in their workplace and
some
think
that fund is the major reason. This essay
totally
agrees
with the statement
because
employers maintain their workforce by rewarding them with attractive salaries.
Furthermore
, provision of an
accomodating
environment is another essential factor
that is
necessary to retain employee.

Firstly
,
people
work
mainly
because
of remuneration. This is
because
the money acquired through rendering
skill
for the employing organization has a huge impact on aspects of their
lives
as these funds are
used
in catering for themselves and family needs.
For example
, a group of civil servants
were interviewed
in Africa, they claimed that the income from their
work
is utilized
on basic
needs and
they depend
solely
on it as they have no other means of survival.
Therefore
, they maintain their
work
because
of the salary
being paid
.

Secondly
, retaining employee requires the
company
to provide a safe working environment. This is
very
essential
because
safety of workers is paramount to job efficiency and this encourage staffs to stay for a longer period since
lives
are secured
.
For instance
, a
famous
organization in the west is able to maintain working population than others
because
of adequate security that
is provided
for workers,
as a result
, effectiveness is
improved
.

In conclusion
, this essay completely
agrees
with the
idea
that staffs
are retained
in a workplace
purposely
because
of money and other essential factor include a
condusive
environmental space for working. It is
therefore
recommended that
companies
should give high reward for their workers and ensure safe environment for
work
in order to retain staff.
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IELTS essay There are many different reasons that can keep a person in their workplace. Some believe that money is the main reason.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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