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Many animals are endangered.So me think that the government is responsible while other think that individual should act.Do you agree or dis agree?

Many animals are endangered. So me think that the government is responsible while other think that individual should act. Do you agree or dis agree? qV0ep
There are many animals are critically endangered, due to humans’ activities. There are some people who think that the government is responsible, the opponets consider it is the responsibility of individuals. I, firmly, believe the governmental authority needs to take necessary actions to counteract the issues effectively. Firstly, as humans expand their habituation to forests, which results the destruction of natural habitats of many flora and fauna. Eventually, they face extinction from the face of the earth. Similarly, many ill-legal hunters and poachers kill or exploite our natural resource for either for medicine, logging or fashion industries. For example, the elephant is declining all over the world as a result of habitat destruction and poaching. Therefore, it is clear that these kinds of activities to be controlled. Secondly, people should be made aware of the consequences of their actions. For this, they need to be educated, how to use available resource in a better manner, rather than exploiting further. Apart from this, teach them to use green energies, reduce food miles by using local produces, reduce carbon footprint. By doing this, another point here is that, professionally guided breeding programmes at zoo or development of national parks. These are the proven methods, have been implemented all over the world. In conclusion, people have a different opinon on who should take action to protect our environment as well as animals. I, firmly, consider that the authority should make plan of action to handle this since they have enough resources and people to implement this.
There are
many
animals are
critically
endangered, due to humans’ activities. There are
some
people
who
think
that the
government
is responsible, the
opponets
consider it is the responsibility of individuals. I,
firmly
, believe the governmental authority needs to take necessary actions to counteract the issues
effectively
.

Firstly
, as humans expand their habituation to forests, which results the destruction of natural habitats of
many flora
and fauna.
Eventually
, they face extinction from the face of the earth.
Similarly
,
many
ill-legal hunters and poachers kill or
exploite
our natural resource for either for medicine, logging or fashion industries.
For example
, the elephant is declining all over the world
as a result
of habitat destruction and poaching.
Therefore
, it is
clear
that these kinds of activities to
be controlled
.

Secondly
,
people
should
be made
aware of the consequences of their actions. For this, they need to
be educated
, how to
use
available resource in a better manner,
rather
than exploiting
further
. Apart from this, teach them to
use
green energies,
reduce
food miles by using local produces,
reduce
carbon footprint. By doing this, another point here is that,
professionally
guided breeding
programmes
at zoo or development of national parks. These are the proven methods, have
been implemented
all over the world.

In conclusion
,
people
have a
different
opinon
on who should take
action
to protect our environment
as well
as animals. I,
firmly
, consider that the authority should
make
plan of
action
to handle this since they have
enough
resources and
people
to implement this.
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IELTS essay Many animals are endangered. So me think that the government is responsible while other think that individual should act. Do you agree or dis agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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