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Many people have to retire at the age 60 or 65. However, some suggest that these people should be allowed to work for as long as they wish. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Many people have to retire at the age 60 or 65. However, some suggest that these people should be allowed to work for as long as they wish. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? doloo
In the modern society, when workers become over around 60 years old, they retire their jobs. Nevertheless, some people argue that the retirement age should be decided by themselves. This essay examines both sides of this argument and draws the conclusion that the result of this trend is undesirable because of financial and physical reasons. On the one hand, those who are over 60 continue working carries some benefits. One of them is that it would be a solution to labor shortage. Since we are facing declining birthrates and aging population issues, overaged people working would be helpful for many companies, contributing to the rise of working population. This results in the increase of tax revenue as well. Furthermore, a number of corporation can save time for education to workers. If over 60 years-old employee keep working at the same company, the company do not need to teach them how to work as they know about their work well, which allows the other employee to focus on their work instead of teaching new workers. On the other hand, the drawbacks of overaged people continue working should be considered. Firstly, it would be costly to keep hiring them instead of young employee. Since overaged workers are trained and skilled, companies would need to pay more salary to them than non-skilled workers. Secondly, there would be some risks that employee keep working after 60 years old. As their physical strength would deteriorate with age, they might get hurt at work including manual labor from the long-term perspective. In conclusion, while there are some upsides with overaged people keep working, in my opinion, the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages when considering that the downsides may persist in the longterm.
In the modern society, when
workers
become over around 60 years
old
, they retire their jobs.
Nevertheless
,
some
people
argue that the retirement age should
be decided
by themselves. This essay examines both sides of this argument and draws the conclusion that the result of this trend is undesirable
because
of financial and physical reasons.

On the one hand, those who are over 60 continue
working
carries
some
benefits. One of them is that it would be a solution to labor shortage. Since we are facing declining birthrates and aging population issues,
overaged
people
working
would be helpful for
many
companies
, contributing to the rise of
working
population. This results in the increase of tax revenue
as well
.
Furthermore
, a number of corporation can save time for education to
workers
. If over 60 years-
old
employee
keep
working
at the same
company
, the
company
do not need to teach them how to
work
as they know about their
work
well, which
allows
the other
employee
to focus on their
work
instead
of teaching new workers.

On the other hand
, the drawbacks of
overaged
people
continue
working
should
be considered
.
Firstly
, it would be costly to
keep
hiring them
instead
of young
employee
. Since
overaged
workers
are trained
and skilled,
companies
would need to pay more salary to them than non-skilled
workers
.
Secondly
, there would be
some
risks
that
employee
keep
working
after 60 years
old
. As their physical strength would deteriorate with age, they might
get
hurt at
work
including manual labor from the long-term perspective.

In conclusion
, while there are
some
upsides with
overaged
people
keep
working
, in my opinion, the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages when considering that the downsides may persist in the
longterm
.
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IELTS essay Many people have to retire at the age 60 or 65. However, some suggest that these people should be allowed to work for as long as they wish. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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