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There are few museums,showing art of their homeland while, few one are displaying art from all over the world.

There are few museums, showing art of their homeland while, few one are displaying art from all over the world. GrB1m
There are few museums, showing art of their homeland while, few one are displaying art from all over the world. According to my opinion, if museums are having collection of arts from internationally then it will be going to more popular not inside the country, in fact all over the world. This is age of globalization. People want to explore more and want to enhance their knowledge about the culture, art and society of other countries also. Let us talk about one of the most important consequences of having global arts in the museums. Firstly, people will be going to aware about the culture, history of the other one nation as well as they get chance more clearly to explore such arts in their home country. They are not going to travel to a foreign land or to study a book based on such arts. Having international arts in museums also give the international reputation to such places, which can be the central of attraction for most of the tourists in that particular country. Besides that, secondly this is also important in terms of economy of the country of having such global arts in the museums. It has been found that, the countries which were having such collection in their art gallery, got the international remark for the visitors. Most of the foreign tourists visit such places and spend a huge money on their entry tickets. Frequent number of international visits can increase income of tourism industry, so far economy of the country. Thus, to conclude we should keep international arts in the museums. There are several advantages of having such collections in the country. It would be beneficial for economy of the country as well as giving a international identification of the place in front of the global community.
There are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of their homeland while, few one are displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
from all over the world. According to my opinion, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
from
internationally
then it will be going to more popular not inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, in fact all over the world. This is age of globalization.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
want to explore more and want to enhance their knowledge about the culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and society of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us talk about one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consequences of
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having
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be going to
It seems that a verb is missing in front of the adjective "aware".
aware
about the culture, history of the other one nation
as well
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance more
clearly
to explore such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They are not going to travel to a foreign land or to study a book based on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
also
give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
reputation to such places, which can be the central of attraction for most of the tourists in that particular country.

Besides
that,
secondly
this is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
such global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. It has
been found
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
such collection in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
gallery,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
remark for the visitors. Most of the foreign tourists visit such places and spend
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge money".
a huge money
on their entry tickets. Frequent number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
visits can increase income of tourism industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far economy of the country.

Thus
,
to conclude
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. There are several advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
such collections in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It would be beneficial for economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as giving
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
identification of the place in front of the global community.
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IELTS essay There are few museums, showing art of their homeland while, few one are displaying art from all over the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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