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Changing job is beneficial or not

Changing job is beneficial or not pXypw
It is a fact that every single person need a job perspective for survival lifestyle. Few people to be disposed duty after some time period they think to do change their work. If asked i would say that to a large extent to the benefit of changing their works it is a drawbacks. My inclination is justifies further To beginning with the most common one is that they have a good pension and also health insurance for example if we are able to stay in a company and we did not face any kind of harassment then they should try to keep continue because of they stuck on their position furthermore their salaries gradually increase over a time period for instance, if they can demand for higher salary if they working good and also stuck in their position. There is clear define path for developmentThe other reason to prove my point is they may be promoted within the organization. Employee give a performance in a particular work then they thinking about the promotion for instance, if i am talking about stuck in a one particular position my one relative who works in a pharmaceutical company in past 29 years. He always insisting all my relatives to try to make your position in one company so, that they give us more benefit. In his earlier days of job he was a working as a labour work but now there are 11 person working under him. In addition, experienced staff can be trusted with more responsibility. They give a more responsibility to take care of any work and we also learn from that plenty of skill work, how to handle work. It is crystal clear that they demonstrate loyalty. Thus to conclude, it can be finally commented that if people change their jon then they can learn different skills. However, they should stuck on their job then company provide facilities like health insurance and good position, increase their salary gradually, they may be promoted within organization and the last but not the least is that experienced staff can be trusted with more responsibility so we should try to work on one place for longer period of time
It is a fact that every single person need a job perspective for survival lifestyle. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be disposed
duty after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time period they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
asked
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say that to a large extent to the benefit of changing their works it is
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a drawback" or simply "drawbacks"?
a drawbacks
. My inclination is justifies
further
To beginning with the most common one is that they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pension and
also
health insurance
for example
if we are able to stay in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
we did not face any kind of harassment then they should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
continue
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
stuck on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
furthermore
their salaries
gradually
increase over a time period
for instance
, if they can demand for higher salary if
Did you mean "they're working", "they are working", or "they were working"?
they working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
also
stuck in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
define path for
Possible spelling mistake found.
developmentThe
other reason to prove my point is they may
be promoted
within the organization. Employee
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "gives".
give
a performance in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then
Did you mean "they're thinking", "they are thinking", or "they were thinking"?
they thinking
about the promotion
for instance
, if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am talking about stuck in a one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
my one relative who works in a pharmaceutical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in past 29 years.
Did you mean "He's always insisting", "He is always insisting", or "He was always insisting"?
He always insisting
all my relatives to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that they give us more benefit. In his earlier days of job he was a working as a
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are 11
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "people", "persons"?
person
working under him.
In addition
, experienced staff can
be trusted
with more responsibility. They give a more responsibility to take care of any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
we
also
learn from that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, how to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they demonstrate loyalty.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to conclude
, it can be
finally
commented that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
jon
then they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "stick"
stuck
on their job then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
provide facilities like health insurance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
, increase their salary
gradually
, they may
be promoted
within organization and the last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least is that experienced staff can
be trusted
with more responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on one place for longer period of time
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Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Changing job is beneficial or not

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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