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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society.

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. 76o2
It is believed that shopping takes too much of free time of youngsters nowadays. Some people warn that the situation can have a negative effect not only on young people, but on the whole society. I agree with those concerns to some extent only. I truly believe that people excessively prefer shopping to more intellectually enriching types of activities, for instance going to museums, exibitions or theatre. Consumerism is encoraged by big business and producers through commercials on TV and Internet. Moreover, personalities of famous people are also envolved intoo the process: movie stars, sportsmen and singers from here and there tell their funs what they should buy. If young people were not so penchant for buying unnecessary stuff on a regular basis, many companies would not have become successful. The recent research carried out at Lomonosov State Unversity found out that even students who do not yet have stable income acknowlegde that 45 $ of what they buy is not necessary. Of course museums and exhibitions can not compete with shopping in terms of advertisement and promotion which are so important in the era where information decides everything. On the other hand the latest trends are rathet reassuring as offline shopping seems to go out of time with more and more people preferring to shop online. This is a positive trend because online shopping does not require much time and young people will stop spending on it all their leisure time instead of doing cultural activities. To conclude I would say that I am concerned about the present situation in terms of prioritising shopping above all. But I feel optimistic about the situation of shopping time in the future and strongly believe that shopping will at least not require too much time.
It
is believed
that
shopping
takes too much of free
time
of youngsters nowadays.
Some
people
warn that the situation can have a
negative
effect not
only
on young
people
,
but
on the whole
society.

I
agree
with those concerns to
some
extent
only
.

I
truly
believe that
people
excessively
prefer
shopping
to more
intellectually
enriching types of activities,
for instance
going to museums,
exibitions
or
theatre
. Consumerism is
encoraged
by
big
business and producers through commercials on TV and Internet.
Moreover
, personalities of
famous
people
are
also
envolved
intoo
the process: movie stars, sportsmen and singers from here and there
tell
their
funs
what they should
buy
. If young
people
were not
so
penchant for buying unnecessary stuff on a regular basis,
many
companies
would not have become successful. The recent research carried out at
Lomonosov
State
Unversity
found out that even students who do not
yet
have stable income
acknowlegde
that
45 $
of what they
buy
is not necessary.
Of course
museums and exhibitions can not compete with
shopping
in terms of advertisement and promotion which are
so
important
in the era where information decides everything.

On the other hand
the latest trends are
rathet
reassuring as offline
shopping
seems to go out of
time
with more and more
people
preferring to shop online. This is a
positive
trend
because
online
shopping
does not require much
time
and young
people
will
stop
spending on it all their leisure
time
instead
of doing cultural activities.

To conclude
I would say that I
am concerned
about the present situation in terms of
prioritising
shopping
above all
.
But
I feel optimistic about the situation of
shopping
time
in the future and
strongly
believe that
shopping
will at least not require too much
time
.
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IELTS essay The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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