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The world would be a better place if women own the leadership

The world would be a better place if women own the leadership PkEoX
Nowadays, many countries are supporting women to ensure gender equality and even females also work in governments in some areas, but some countries do not allow work for feminine. Some people think if women control the world, it would be a better place than now, whereas others believe that the world is also good-looking without leader females. I completely believe that the world can develop in the next years without any controlling of women There were many countries that develop faster than other competitors by only men in the past and they were recognized by the whole globe. I think men are better in this specialty and they have enough determination and also they are strict rather than their couples. Women are slightly facile and if women nourish to their child and they have a vital role in the family rather than authorities would be better. As a matter of fact, children have more contact with their mother rather than dad because mothers are affectionate and they always notice their children’s feelings in advance and I also get along with my mom and I always say what happened first him because she give me advice about what I should do. That is why, women do not have to work in prime rank in the country, they need more to their family. Although females are affective, some of them are more strict even masculine. There are many countries in which women are president or like close to this rank and those countries are not worse. Of course, all of us was born equal, we should have the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender, so many parts of the world try to ensure gender equality and it allows that women can also work like men if they are better. Of course, this is good democracy, but they may forget or neglect their families. This is an adverse effect to developing families and society. In conclusion, despite of fact, some women are more excel at government’s works they need more to their family and men can also create an atmosphere like a heaven with their family support
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to ensure gender equality and even females
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for feminine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, whereas others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking without leader females. I completely believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can develop in the
next
years without any controlling of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
women


There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that develop faster than other competitors by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
past and
they
were recognized
by the whole globe. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
specialty and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
determination and
also
they are strict
rather
than their couples.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are
slightly
facile and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
nourish to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
they have a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rather
than authorities would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. As a matter of fact, children have more contact with their mother
rather
than dad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mothers are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affectionate and
they always notice their children’s feelings in advance and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with my mom and I always say what happened
first
him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gives", "gave".
give
me advice about what I should do.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in prime rank in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they need more to their family.

Although females are affective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are more strict even masculine. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are president or like close to this rank and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not worse.
Of course
, all of us
was born
equal, we should have the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
try to ensure gender equality and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Of course
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
democracy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may forget or neglect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This is an adverse effect to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and society.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more excel at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s works they need more to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can
also
create an atmosphere like a heaven with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support
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IELTS essay The world would be a better place if women own the leadership

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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