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The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. with this statement? qORE
Today’s world safety is the prime concern for the society, People around the world, single hearted towards the safety concern in which, each one is expect from their country. Plethora of evidence states in daily news paper which reflect the safety parameters in each country. The economy of the country relies on the safety which everyone experiencing from their own life. While sticking to the part, to the first section: -I strongly agree the statement In which todays’ world is safer than compared with previous (100 years) For instance – while compared with aged days, the people are committing the crime by means of belief that – Never get caught/there is no witness had been present at the time of executing the crime. Nevertheless, the crime rates were skyrocketed during old days, ” Still remember an incident said by grand mother during her childhood. She lived in a place were there is no streetlights, people were scared to go outside when the time cross 6 PM. Now, we came up to a situation- where woman is safe to go outside even though its Midnight. This statement does not intent to claim, the crime rates lower but its habitual for people that for those who want to commit a crime will get caught 100%. Here the advancement of technology and development of county plays vital role. Considering the second section-I forcefully disagree the statement, Government should allot one third of their resources to advance their armed forces, for instance: well known fact that the country ISRAEL is the one of the smallest country in the world, the defensive power of ISRAEL is an remarkable one. The history is a great example. By concluding the statement, crime rates are much lower compared with older days, I believe technology was not so advanced to fetch the criminals to limelight. All the country should spend their expenditure to advance the defensive system to cop- up with other countries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is the prime concern for the society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, single hearted towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
concern in which, each one is
Consider using a past participle here: "expected".
expect
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Plethora of evidence states in daily
This word is normally spelled as one.
news paper
which reflect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
parameters in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
relies on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
which everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "experiences", "experienced".
experiencing
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

While sticking to the part, to the
first
section: -I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
In which
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is safer than compared with previous (100 years)
For instance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
while compared with aged days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are committing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by means of belief that
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught/there is no witness had been present at the time of executing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates
were skyrocketed
during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
Still
remember an incident said by grand mother during her childhood. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a place were
Did you mean "there are no streetlights"?
there is no streetlights
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were scared
to go outside when the time cross 6 PM.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we came up to a situation- where woman is safe to go outside
even though
its Midnight. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
does not intent to claim, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its habitual for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that for those who want to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught 100%. Here the advancement of technology and development of county plays vital role.

Considering the second section-I
forcefully
disagree the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should allot one third of their resources to advance their armed forces,
for instance
: well known fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
ISRAEL is the one of the smallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the defensive power of ISRAEL is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
remarkable one. The history is a great example.

By concluding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are much lower compared with older days, I believe technology was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced to fetch the criminals to limelight. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should spend their expenditure to advance the defensive system to cop- up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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