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Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development? OXy7
These days, the population of elderly people is rapidly increasing. As a result, few people are choosing to live in old age homes instead of living with their children. It appears to be a positive trend as discussed further. To commence with, there are several arguments that can be presented. First and foremost, older people indirectly help their children in terms of reduce pressure. Young adults and their children are spend more time in outside home to work and study. Consequently, young adult’s parents may feel loneliness and affects the health problems so that adult kids may sending retirement communities to taking care. For example, in Japan, the ratio of old aged people are very high and most of them are living in retirement homes or hospitals. To the contrary, there are Various negative development that can be Presented. First of all, it may cause financial pressure toward adult children to expensive pay to retirement communities. So that the huge burden on young ones. In addition old people may also feel lonely and uncomfortable without their children. As well as, Children may also feel bored missed their grandparents. To cite am example, in indian culture, most of families are living in joint family and older people com not decide to live in alone. To conclude, although adult children have burden of financial pressure also their children feel bored and missed their grandparents, they spend less time with grandparents and it occurs the health problems. It be recommended that older people should be live with their sons and grandchildren in order to give guidance.
These days, the population of elderly
people
is
rapidly
increasing.
As a result
, few
people
are choosing to
live
in
old
age homes
instead
of living with their
children
. It appears to be a
positive
trend as discussed
further
.

To commence with, there are several arguments that can
be presented
.
First
and foremost, older
people
indirectly
help
their
children
in terms of
reduce
pressure. Young
adults
and their
children
are
spend
more time in outside home to work and study.
Consequently
, young adult’s parents may
feel
loneliness and affects the health problems
so
that adult kids may sending retirement communities to taking care.
For example
, in Japan, the ratio of
old
aged
people
are
very
high and most of them are living in retirement homes or hospitals.

To the contrary, there are Various
negative
development that can
be Presented
.
First of all
, it may cause financial pressure toward adult
children
to expensive pay to retirement communities.
So that
the huge burden on young ones. In
addition
old
people
may
also
feel
lonely and uncomfortable without their
children
.
As well
as,
Children
may
also
feel
bored missed their grandparents. To cite am example, in
indian
culture,
most of families
are living in joint family and older
people
com not decide to
live
in alone.

To conclude
, although adult
children
have burden of financial pressure
also
their
children
feel
bored and missed their grandparents, they spend less time with grandparents and it occurs the health problems. It
be
recommended that older
people
should be
live
with their sons and grandchildren in order to give guidance.
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IELTS essay Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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