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The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on the same job anymore. Why? What could be done to help employees prepare for a better career?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on the same job anymore. Why? What could be done to help employees prepare for a better career? 3WxNd
The ever-changing work market no longer allows people to cling on to the same job throughout their whole career. While such change can be attributed to technology and globalization all over the world, it is highly suggested that employees should be equipped with a transferable skill set and a positive attitude to stay relevant for the job market. Technological advancements and globalization have disrupted many traditional industries, leading to the loss of countless jobs. First of all, as artificial intelligence is being developed rapidly, machines can now perform complex tasks. This means that tenacious and repetitive jobs are likely to be replaced in the near future. To illustrate, when auto-driving machines come into effect, they will undoubtedly render taxi drivers or airplane pilots jobless. Secondly, companies nowadays tend to expand their market by operating internationally. As a result, they start outsourcing and optimizing their workforce for cost efficiencies and inevitably cut down on staff. Employees are most vulnerable to this change, and therefore should take preparations in order to cope with it effectively. First and foremost, it is required that workers adopt new mindsets and attitudes to adapt to changes in the working environment. This can be done by trying to increase competitiveness, avoid complacency, be willing to learn and take on risks. In addition, acquiring transferable skills such as languages or computer skills are essential if they want to stay relevant for the employment market. These skills allow them to grasp new career opportunities and no longer depend on any certain job. To sum up, while the rapid change in the work market is down to technological advancements and globalization, one should be able to deal with this contemporary issue by being mentally prepared for any changes as well as equipping themselves with adequate skills.
The ever-changing work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to cling on to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
throughout their

whole career. While such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can
be attributed
to technology and globalization all over the world, it

is
highly
suggested that employees should
be equipped
with a transferable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive


attitude to stay relevant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.

Technological advancements and globalization have disrupted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traditional industries, leading to the

loss of countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as artificial intelligence is
being developed
rapidly
, machines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now


perform complex tasks. This means that tenacious and repetitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are likely to
be replaced
in the

near future. To illustrate, when auto-driving machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into effect, they will
undoubtedly
render

taxi drivers or airplane pilots jobless.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
nowadays tend to expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
by

operating
internationally
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
outsourcing and optimizing their workforce for cost

efficiencies and
inevitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on staff.

Employees are most vulnerable to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, and
therefore
should take preparations in order to cope

with it
effectively
.
First
and foremost, it
is required
that workers adopt new mindsets and attitudes to

adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the working environment. This can
be done
by trying to increase competitiveness, avoid complacency, be willing to learn and take on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
In addition
, acquiring transferable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as

languages or computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are essential if they want to stay relevant for the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. These

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to grasp new career opportunities and no longer depend on any certain job.

To sum up, while the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
is down to technological advancements and

globalization, one should be able to deal with this contemporary issue by being mentally prepared for

any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as well
as equipping themselves with adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.

IELTS essay The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on the same job anymore. Why? What could be done to help employees prepare for a better career?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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