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the world is changed quickly, people in the past were happier and satisfied than they are today

the world is changed quickly, people in the past were happier and satisfied than they are today g58ML
Since the beginning of the current century, the world has become very intricate and technologically advanced. Some people believe that quickly changed life puts people under severe stress. However, there is another substantial body of evidence that cats doubt on this belief. From a personal perspective, even though the world nowadays moves faster than it was in the past, people are more satisfied then they were a long time ago. Given the technological innovations, there are many improvements in the healthcare system, communication and education. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, in the past, the healthcare system was primitive. Not only because of the limited number of hospitals, but also the facilities were inadequate. Furthermore, people in the past could lose their lives because a lot of vaccines and cures did not exist. Nevertheless, nowadays technology has made an impressive advancement that would seem impossible for people in the past. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was elaborated above is, fifty years ago, my dad lost his life because of cirrhosis of his liver, on the other hand, people today who suffer from the same disease could make liver transplantation and live longer. As a result, given the medical technological advances, people are happier than they were in the past. Next, coupled with healthcare enhancement, communication improvement is another reason why people nowadays are more satisfied than in the past. To illustrate this point, in the past, there was no internet, so people could not communicate with each other easily. However, the internet has made the world a global village. To put it in other words, provided that when people use the internet, they could communicate with anyone at any part of that world with no problem at all. For instance, five years ago, I immigrated from my country to California, even though I left my family and friend, I do not feel homesickness. Given that I used the internet to download WhatsApp on my cellphone, I could use it to make a video-call and see them every day. In addition to that, I have social media accounts on Facebook and Instagram, so I could connect my friends through means of likes and comments. On the other hand, these facilities would seem fiction for people in the past. Consequently, given the technological advancements, people today are more satisfied than they were in the past. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, Although technology has made the world changes very fast, it has many virtues that make life better and more comfortable. It is suggested that advocates for education in order to progress and develop.
Since the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intricate and
technologically
advanced.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
life puts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
However
, there is another substantial body of evidence that cats doubt on this belief. From a personal perspective,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
faster than it was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more satisfied
Did you mean "than"?
then
they were a long time ago.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the technological innovations, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
improvements in the healthcare system, communication and education. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, the healthcare system was primitive. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the limited number of hospitals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the facilities were inadequate.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
could lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
vaccines and cures did not exist.
Nevertheless
, nowadays technology has made an impressive advancement that would seem impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above is, fifty years ago, my dad lost his life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of cirrhosis of his liver, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
who suffer from the same disease could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
liver transplantation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the medical technological advances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happier than they were in the past.

Next
, coupled with healthcare enhancement, communication improvement is another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are more satisfied than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. To illustrate this point, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, there was no internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
easily
.
However
, the internet has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a global village. To put it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, provided that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, they could communicate with anyone at any part of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with no problem at all.
For instance
, five years ago, I immigrated from my country to California,
even though
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my family and friend, I do not feel homesickness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet to download WhatsApp on my cellphone, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a video-call and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them every day.
In addition
to that, I have social media accounts on Facebook and Instagram,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I could connect my friends through means of likes and comments. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these facilities would seem fiction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the technological advancements,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more satisfied than they were in the past.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, Although technology has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virtues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life better and more comfortable. It
is suggested
that advocates for education in order to progress and develop.
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IELTS essay the world is changed quickly, people in the past were happier and satisfied than they are today

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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