Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The world has been suffering with burning issue of obesity which plays significant role in disease increase due to daily eating fast food and less exercise

The world has been suffering with burning issue of obesity which plays significant role in disease increase due to daily eating fast food and less exercise BJwj5
The world has been suffering with burning issue of obesity which plays significant role in disease increase due to daily eating fast food and less exercise. Government and individual should take action for resolve this problem. There are many reasons behind this, First In past people were working very hard doing different type of activities like Farming without advance technology, use bicycle and walking for travel whereas in today’s era people are using latest technology in farming, use cars and high speed trains for travel due to this reasons people physical activity diminish become main reason to young people are using more medicine compared to past. second, young people are eating more junk foods which is harmful for health as well as decrease immunity system. Young people are very busy doing different activity such as study, sports and dance therefore not possible to enough rest then this certainly leads to catch with different disease. In past people are using leisure time in recreation activity like reading, play indoor game while in today people are using free time in play video game, watch movie, watch television so their physical and mental capability reduce compared to past. I will concentrate here on the ones are most important first of all countries government should take action against junk food stores. we are seeing that number of sick young people increase in each countries due to unhealthy life style. All in all people should adept healthy life style. Agglomerating all the point elaborated above it can be concluded that by getting futuristic and proactive we can make the changes favourable to us.
The world has been suffering with burning issue of obesity which plays significant role in disease increase due to daily eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and less exercise.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and individual should take action for resolve this problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this,
First
In past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like Farming without advance technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bicycle and walking for travel whereas in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology in farming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cars and high speed trains for travel due to this reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
diminish become main reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using more medicine compared to past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
second
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating more junk foods which is harmful for health
as well
as decrease immunity system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
such as study, sports and dance
therefore
not possible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest then this
certainly
leads to catch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disease. In past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using leisure time in recreation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
like reading, play indoor game while in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using free time in play video game,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movie,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their physical and mental capability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
compared to past.

I will concentrate here on the ones are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action against junk food stores.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
are seeing that number of sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase in each countries due to unhealthy life style.

All in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adept healthy life style. Agglomerating all the point elaborated above it can
be concluded
that by getting futuristic and proactive we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to us.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The world has been suffering with burning issue of obesity which plays significant role in disease increase due to daily eating fast food and less exercise

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts