Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The vertical bar garph depicts the proportion of various age group in Australian men and women who engaged in physical exercise regularly in 2010.

The vertical bar garph depicts the proportion of various age group in Australian men and women who engaged in physical exercise regularly in 2010. N3Wgb
It can be apparently seen that mainly males who aged 15-24 do more physical activities that account for 52. 8%, but till 35-44, ratio of this activism declined significantly (39. 5)%. With regard to females percentage the most active women were mature which corresponds 54. 3%. Moreover, young females were less active as compared to males adults. Likewise, it is worth to mention that the number of women and men who were grey hair was nearly the same with 46. 7% and 47. 1% respectively.
It can be
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
mainly
males who aged 15-24 do more physical activities that account for 52. 8%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
till 35-44, ratio of this activism declined
significantly
(39. 5)%. With regard to females percentage the most active women were mature which corresponds 54. 3%.
Moreover
, young females were less active as compared to males adults.
Likewise
, it is worth to mention that the number of women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who were
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
hair was
nearly
the same with 46. 7% and 47. 1%
respectively
.

IELTS essay The vertical bar garph depicts the proportion of various age group in Australian men and women who engaged in physical exercise regularly in 2010.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
85 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The vertical bar garph depicts the proportion of various age group in Australian men and women who engaged in physical exercise regularly in 2010.